I quit!

i quit....You have no idea how many times I want to do just that. In fact I was just thinking it a couple minutes ago working on a new painting. The sketch is not coming out the way I would like, and it would be easy to throw it out. I sooo wish I could just quit at being a parent sometimes. Being a wife has not always been what I had envisioned it would be- WHAT?!! You can't read my mind??!!

But...what if quitting is good for you - like not drinking pop anymore, or eating processed foods, thinking negative about people in general, not filtering what you say, or a toxic relationship with a person who has nothing to offer, or maybe you're juggling too many things and the stress is starting to take a toll on your body. That's when it's healthy to close the door, and start a new chapter.

Some things are easy to quit, especially if you don't like it in the first place, say your job, other times responsibility and sensibility set in and make that move a lot more harder. but what if your addicted? That makes the act of quitting so much more harder. You know that the first high your hooked and you know it's going to be a hard fall if you ever stop what your doing. smoking, drugs, compliments, positive public opinion, the way that person makes you feel when they look at you that makes you keep running back for more. What if it all ends? The void is there and you have to somehow replace it. That's when you can't quit at quitting - life or death lies on the other side, death to your body, death to relationships, death to your soul.

We all have areas in our lives that we need to work on - but above all we can't quit. Quiting is not an option. Just like my painting, if I quit, I'll never get to see it's potential. In parenting...with as many times we have to repeat ourselves, we can't quit disciplining and doing what's right. In our marriages, we can't quit showing unconditional love. Fight until there is nothing more to fight for. In our attempt to find a soul mate and find true love-whatever that is, don't give up hope but don't lose yourself in the process. For our families, and friends, no matter how many times they may dissappoint us always be ready to be shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen. Most importantly, on ourselves - never give up on your relationship with God. Love yourself enough to never quit and don't give up.

"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord."

I Corinthians 15:58 NKJV

" With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort. " 1 Corinthians 15:58

the message

Spring Break...and I'm slowly going crazy!!

I can't believe that it's early wednesday morning...day 3 of spring break. On monday, I realized that it was only day 1 of spring break! ahhhh!!! Sunday I came home from church and it was so nice and sunny outside. I dragged the girls off their behinds and took them to the park to go sledding. that only lasted an hour. they were all laying on the ground exhausted..it was so funny. I wish I had my camera, Though..It was a big hill.

Yesterday...oh my. Haley was whining..the other two would have been happy playing Wii all day. So we went to West Edmonton Mall, to the "playplace" and I brought my camera. There is so much cool things to take pictures of there. I also got to see a couple friends there. My friend Nikki was working at a "gotta have milk" booth, and the girls played guitar hero. And I saw my friend Coral...as she was working on wedding plans. Today we went to Chuckie Cheese...I wish I would have brought a book. oh well. the girls had fun...3 hours worth! eek....crazy!! not for another 6 months!

tomorrow? ( i mean today) I'm going to run away for a couple hours and hide in the church office and help with some odd jobs. And probably go out for wings with "wic n woz" as ally calls them. The only couple friends that we have...ha ha. We almost have a few more..but brian works too much. oh well.

Desert times

This is going to be a thoughtful more serious post, because this has been my mood the last few days. I've come to the realization that I have DEFINITELY come to a desert place. When I mean desert place, i mean a desert place of the soul. I heard various teaching on this- a really good one by Kevin Gerald, an awesome pastor in Spokane, Washington. Basically different metaphors to describe spiritual conditions of our heart and soul.
I'm amazed how fast you can go from being in a place of blessing and harvest - a place of being "fat" spiritually, to a place of fire and refinement. I knew it was coming. I always know it's going to eventually come. I've been aware of my various life cycles, that I'm not oblivious to them anymore. This is basically how it goes, I get teaching from God on a certain subject, I internalize it, and then I'm tested by outside elements to see how I fair. If I've learned the lesson that I"m supposed to learn, all is good. I just move onto the next lesson. If not it's a big circle, and I have to learn it all again.
I'm sad because the lessons that I had learned while in the refinement and harvest period, thought I had so strong within me were not as strong as I thought they were. I truly thought I was strong enough...but now I'm remembering once again it's really my ability to rest and trust in God. It's very humbling to be confronted with your own sin, and short comings. I almost made some really devastating decisions, because I didn't realize where I was at spiritually. One HUGE tip that Kevin Gerald says is not to make any life changing decisions while in a desert place. Last year I was in a desert place, and almost quit the music team. I'm so glad that I didn't. Because about a couple weeks after that I started writing songs, and that totally lifted me out of that desert place.

I know and felt that I haven't been on top of my game. The gifts of the spirit having been flowing like they have in the past. I've been giving wrong spiritual advice to people who confide in me at church. So I stopped doing that, because really any wisdom that I have is from God and Holy Spirit. When He's gone, and I can feel that the Holy Spirit is distant for now, that my natural mind can give some good advice, but not the kind that would touch someone's life and bring lifelong change. I don't want someone to try out my suggestions, because they see me as a leader and then find that was not to what God would have them to do.
I was seriously thinking of making some life altering decisions in my "drunken" state, and came so close to following through. And my eyes were opened, and it always seems that they are opened at church. My pastor always seems to have to the right message for wherever I am at. Things that I've been thinking about, contemplating...it always seems that my big decisions were made at church.
It's going to be a long road back to where I was, but it's worth it. My life is so shallow and meaningless without God. As you can tell by my posts, it's been all about physical beauty and my insecurities. Basically it's been all about me..my pride, me as the center of my universe. In truth the world does NOT revolve around me - as much I would like it to.

"One day spent in your house, this beautiful place of worship, beats thousands spent on Greek island beaches. I'd rather scrub floors in the house of my God than be honored as a guest in the palace of sin. All sunshine and sovereign is God, generous in gifts and glory. He doesn't scrimp with his traveling companions. It's smooth sailing all the way with God-of-the-Angel-Armies." Ps. 84:10

I'm definitely no Monet!

Last night I stayed up till 2am painting a picture! I finally had a chance to do something OTHER than housework, because I delegated (went psycho on) some of the housework out to Brian, and he in turn delegated some of the housework to Haley. Basically they cleaned up the kitchen, and I tidied the second floor. So for once in a LONG time, my house looked good. I'm thinking I need to delegate a little bit more.

So I was really tired from having my massage, and my bedtime is usually 9pm when I'm getting up at 6am to work, BUUUUT I didn't have to work tomorrow. So I thought...whatever! I'm doin' this! I haven't done an oil painting since my last year of high school - about 15 years ago....wow. Is it really that long ago? Oh my...........ugh.

K..I'm back. My mom taught me oil painting, and I entered them in contests. I won first for all of them. And this year I got some money from Brian's mom for Christmas, so I bought a set of oil paints with it.

I was sure that as soon as I put my brush to the canvas that everything would come back to me. Nooope. In fact, I almost panicked, because it seemed like everything I tried to do was just not coming out the way I pictured it would. I'm not used to this. I have a great memory, and it's so weird for me not to remember something. I usually remember things and details that people don't. (Except if it's detailed instructions...I don't know why, but I can't remember that.)

I was ready to give up, but I'm glad I didn't, but I don't think I'm the best oil painter anymore though. I think I'm way better at watercolor, and colored pencil drawings now. But I'm not going to stop. The only reason I started doing pencil drawings is cuz it's cheap and it was all I had for the longest time. I had visions of painting huge oil painting that cover a whole wall, but now....I'm not so sure. I have to keep practicing with the small canvas, before I fork out the money to buy a Huge canvas. They aren't cheap!!

Anyways, I'll post the painting when I'm done. I'm sure it will look good if you don't see the photograph that inspired it. peace out x

Taking care of me

I woke up this morning, and I had a pain shooting down my arm!! A couple weeks ago, I wanted to see if I could do the "Jackknife". An advanced pilates move where you put your feet in the air and only use our arms and core for support. The only thing is, it is really easy to put all your weight on your neck. So I was really reluctant to try it. So I tried one - it was good! I was so excited! Then I tried again, success!! I was feeling so good about myself. I was only supposed to do 2 for the advanced workout, but I was feeling a little cocky. I haven't done this for like 4 years! So I thought..I'm going to do this again. I swung my feet over my head, then went to lift them up, and ohhh no! I started to lose balance! So I quickly dropped down, but it was a little too quick and I knew immediately that I had hurt something. It wasn't bad at first. I thought that maybe I could stretch it out, or maybe my back was out cuz I could put it back in. But after 2 weeks still didn't go away. I kept meaning to get a massage, but it was bearable. I even did my upper body workout at the gym. (That probably added to it though..eeek)

So when I woke up this morning and was so tense, I thought, "oh no I really need to get this taken care of!" So I was going to go to the spa where I usually get my massages, but then they are so expensive and Brian's benefits only cover $50 and their massages are $90!!!! And they aren't always that good. I have a good story about that. Last year, Brian's sister came to visit and wanted to get a massage, and asked if I wanted to come. So I said sure. They booked us as a couples massage! That didn't bother me...just weird being naked in the same room as my sister in law. And halfway through, they asked us if it was our first time having a couples massage! ha ha LIke we were a couple....oh my.

Well, I remembered that my friend Vlad from church has a massage therapy school- actually his mother teaches the classes, he runs it. Anyways, he said I should stop by sometime. I got a graduate to work on me. She was really good! I think the best massage I've had...but I say that everytime. When I was in Mexico, brian and I had a massage on the beach, and thought the same thing then. Though he did this reflexology thing on my hands...oh my! I'm trying to keep this G rated....but there is spot on my hand. Brian and I found it one night during supper at Applebee's. We were sitting across from each other, and he massaged it and WOW!! I wasn't very hungry anymore ;) it was crazy. How did I get from pilates to this?!!!

Anyways..I booked another appointment for next week. I thought for that price, I could afford to go!! yay!

Goodwill goodies!!!

Today was my day to make a trip to Goodwill. I always dump a couple boxes, and come home with a small bag - usually books. I found out about Goodwill for cheap books a couple years ago. I went in with the girls when they were little, and found every book that I wanted to buy at Indigo for $2!! It used to be $1 for softcover and $2 for hardcover, but they now have raised it to $2.49 for soft and $4 for hardcover...which is STILL really good.

I've been collecting Barbara Kingsolver books...I think I almost have them all. She is the author of my favorite book - Poisonwood Bible. I lent it to my friend Rebecca..wow 8 years ago, when she was in the hospital after she had her 2nd baby (she now has 5 - two girls 3 boys). Sheldon her husband read - really liked it I might add, and I haven't seen it since. I gave up on ever seeing it again, and today while I was at Goodwill I saw it!! They also had another book of her's that I don't have - Summer Prodigal. One of her newest books.

I really wish that I was a faster reader, I would probably read more. For instance, I would read all things Jane Austin, the complete works of Lucy Maud Montgomery, War and Peace ( I know!!! You have to be a fast reader to keep you motivated for this one!), Anna Karenina, Lord of the Rings (I've tried to read this twice!! Can't get past the first two pages!!). I might even have courage to read authors that people don't recommend - maybe be more adventurous with my reading. But I just stick to easy reads like,magazines, Nanny Diaries, Series of Unfortunate Events, Confessions of a Shopaholic (I'm reading this now. Scary how much I identify with the main character Rebecca Bloomwood...eek), and DK travel guides - I have Ireland and New York. I hope to get more they are very educational :)

Teresa has the entire Harry Potter Series and has offered to let me read them. That will not be hard for me. I borrowed the first book from the library and started to read it to Haley and Emily, but they didn't quite get into it. I however read it for a little while after they went to bed and really liked it. I only have until August - that's when she plans to move to Calgary. So I better get on it- we'll see.

snow bunny

I went skiing yesterday with Haley's class. I've haven't gone skiing in like 12 years!!! I don't even own a pair of snowpants!! Luckily Teresa had a pair. I was kinda nervous. I've had some pretty bad experiences. Tow bar mishaps, going down the wrong path and ending up at a black diamond run, and some crazy snow conditions- Skiing in slush, ice, icy snow...lots of powder. I went down the bunny hill with Haley a couple times, and the second time down, it came back to me :) and I went down a slightly bigger hill, and that wasn't fast enough, so i took the chairlift up and went down the big hill. It was soo nice. I didn't fall once!

I learned to ski at Powder King in BC. It's so beautiful there! It's a great ski hill, the beginner runs though are pretty steep. I can't believe that's what I learned on! Edmonton only has a small bunny hill - great for practicing, and learning. I was looking at the hill and imagining Powder King or even Tabor Mountain in Prince George which are like 5 & 10 times bigger.

Teresa teaches lessons at the ski hill, so when she was done her lesson we did a couple runs together. It was so much fun. I now have a couple of skiing buddies. Cindy- another mom that I get into lots of trouble with, was there two and we skiied most of the day together. I think I won't have too much trouble finding people to go skiing with..I would even go by myself. I don't mind.

I'm so happy to say that I FINALLY hung some pictures! My walls aren't completely bare anymore!! Did I move here lately..the answer is no. I just painted every wall in the house...two years ago, and never put the pictures back up! why..because I'm a perfectionist. I wanted to have matching frames, and they had to be nice expensive ones like the ones in the magazine. And I would listen to Brian whenever I would look at paintings he'd say,"I'm not paying for something you can paint!" But realistically, yes, I could paint it, but I really didn't have the time to do it.

So....it's seems to be the time in my life, where I have money OR time..never both. So if I get some extra money, I would quickly buy something for the house and stash it, for the time when I can put it up. So I'm happy. I bought a cute wall ornament at Designer Depot (or was it Homesense in like the summer?) for like $15.00. I really wanted an Umbra collage frame - but they are like $100 (well the one I want...eek) So I compromised (for now), and bought a cheap one from Walmart (which will probably fall apart in like a year) for like $20. And I just put up some baby pictures, and some pictures that I had from before. Also, Haley and Emily made me some ornaments out of clay...I finally put those up too!!! tell me what you think .

twitterpaited

I was starting to feel weird about writing all kinds of stuff on here...but I just found another blog of a girl who has been blogging for like 9 years and writes about everything. http://dooce.com/ It's quite interesting...though she has a whole bunch of followers and I have three- For which I am very grateful. I found her on Twitter...and I don't know exactly how I did that. What is twitter? Well, it's kind of like a mini blog site. You write updates of a maximum of 140 characters. A lot of celebrities are on it...so I thought, "if celebrities are doing it!!!" I found John Mayer :) I'm a happy girl. I'm not suprised though that he updates like 10-12 times a day. I wonder if John Cena is on there. I should find out. I bet he would put lots of updates - well, he's a wrestler, and what else do you have to do during the day while you're waiting to fight??!! So..if you go on twitter, look me up and we can mini-blog together.

True Friends...

I am continually amazed at the things I find in people I know. Sometimes it is unfortunate circumstances, that have shaped them and made them stonger, but sometimes it is incredible accomplishments. Last week I had the opportunity to find out more about my friend Teresa. We have been friends for about 4 years. She moved into our complex the year that Emily started Kindergarten, her daughter, shaelyn also started kindergarten and the two have been inseperable. Her friendship has meant the world to me.

She is so thoughtful, friendly, smart, strong, gracious, put-together. There are times when I do something stupid (usually say something stupid) and I think, "oh my gosh, she's never going to speak to me again!!" Yet, she's still here! Anyways, last tuesday we had the chance to go out for coffee. Right now she's a part-time ski instructor, and nurse. Her ski lesson was cancelled due to the cold, so it was perfect for us to go out for coffee. We split a banana bread, and a red velvet cupcake. Yuummm!!! Our conversations always come so easy.

When we first met, she had casually mentioned that she was on the Team Canada Ski team, and I've always remember and hoped that the time would be right for me to find out more. Well, out of the blue she says, "you know when you mentioned on Facebook that you wanted to see some of my pictures from my Team Canada days? You want to come over and I show you?" Oh MY!! I was so excited! She is quite a private person, and for her to show you this stuff is such an honor!! She showed me her plaques, and awards. She showed me a video of her performing at Nationals and she placed 5th!!! and she was 1st in Alberta for three years in a row! She did Freestyle skiing - Aerials, moguls, and ballet- yes there's something called "ballet skiing". It's like figure-skating on skis. I had to question her on doing Aerial ski jumping...HOW DO YOU DO THAT?!!! that's just crazy! But sooo cool! I've always thought that she was the most amazing person, but by far she's my favorite...ha ha

I'm hoping that we can go skiing together. I haven't gone skiing since I was about 18, and brian hurt his knee skiing when Haley was a baby, so that ruled him out as being my skiing buddy. The sad thing is that she will be moving to Calgary this summer. So I am trying to gear up mentally for that. Last year, there was a couple times when we thought that Brian might get transfered to a different city. I was so suprised at how much people expressed how much they would miss me. I have to say, that I never felt so special. (second was when the UPS, Staples delivery guy, Telsco -security company for the church, and a lady at the company who services the church's photocopier all noticed that I was working at the church anymore and expressed that they missed seeing my "smiling face"..ha ha! "Where's Lyndsey??!!" Teresa will be so missed, but I've been incredibly blessed to have her only 2 minutes away from me for the past 4 years. Sigh...my cup runneth over.

Here's the pics from the maternity shoot I did on Saturday. just wanted to share. Off to work!!

I've been so busy this week. I've really been trying to keep myself busy with my hours being cut and everything. Last week, brian had 3 days off!! So whenever he has a day off, basically all my plans are out the window and change to match whatever whim he has. I don't think I worked out once - maybe Monday. I also haven't been eating very well. Since I've been keeping myself so busy, our homecooked meals have gone out the window.

I know it sounds all bad, but this is what I traded it for. I'm on the music team again this week, and I'm singing!!! I'm usually in the back on keys - which is not a bad thing, in fact I LOVE it! I'm finding that the piano/synth is one if not the most influencial instrument, because it creates the dynamics and the mood for the song. So I love it when I'm really feeling the song, and build it, that the other instruments also jump right in. Anyways, enough about that.

Tomorrow, I'm singing....back up. Nothing special. I just smile, and keep my voice almost monotone so that I blend. I have one solo, and by the time I get to it in the set list, I almost forget how to sing by myself and add some flavour to it. Oh well, it's a change.

Also...I had the chance to do my first photoshoot! I am by no means a professional, but I would love to learn how to use my fancy new camera to it's full potential! I went over to my friend Rachelle's and took some family pictures for her. So here's a sample of the pictures I took. You can take a look at more at my website on flickr. And today, I had the chance to sit in on a maternity shoot at my friend Liz' house. She also let me take some pictures. I got a couple, good ones, but I mostly watched to see what she does. I'll probably post some of those too, but not now.

Valentine's day and such...

It's been awhile since I've written. I think it's because I've been writing about the same stuff....me...working out....BORING!!! I do have one good thing to report, I bought my first pair of size 10 jeans in a few years :) YEAH!! I'm back! They are tight, but look WAY better than the jeans that I went to work in yesterday! They were so baggy I had them cinched up, and my butt looked so droopy..not good!
Valentine's Day was very special for me. Not only did I get breakfast in bed (courtesy of Haley), I got to watch a video (Devil wears Prada!!!) AND we all got to have a "Daddy" date. We all got dressed up - I finally got to wear my satin tank topy thing that I bought a Christmas time, and the girls in they're dresses. Ally kept getting up and running around to give brian a kiss. She is such a little princess. And we all had heart-shaped pizza...yummmm. That officially marked 11 years of marriage - yeah us.
Tomorrow after work, I'm going to take pictures of the twins. Yes, the twins that I got to snuggle with for two whole hours!!! I'm so excited! They are almost two months, but look one month old because they are preemies. Anna and Gradin. I'll also be taking family shots. And my friend Liz, said that I could sit in on her maternity shoot this Saturday, she even said that I could take some pictures also :). Liz is an old friend, that I grew up with, and we finally connected after all these years! She took some beautiful pictures of the girls and I last fall(2007). Which reminds me that I should charge my batteries! I don't really know what I'm doing, but it seems to work out. Hopefully Liz can give me some tips. I would love to turn this into a business, but for now it's just a wonderful hobby. Everytime I go on Flickr I get so inspired. The pictures that people take are just INCREDIBLE!! (( I opened an account - shera76. in case you'd like to see my pictures))

I will survive!!!

I have to go to work soon, but I think I can write this down before I have to go. I have to remember to plug in my ipod - actually I'm going to do that right now. Yesterday`s workout was really hard. I went to put on my ipod (I have one of those arm bands), and the battery was gone!!! I brought it to the Stollery, so the girls (emily & ally) had something to do while we were waiting. So I thought, how am I going to do this! So I was on the elliptical, singing in my head`So What` by P!nk. It was definitely harder than usual. I really didn`t think I was going to survive doing my pull-ups. But I did it - but again. I was singing `Ave Maria` - again by P!nk in my head. The only thing is I went slower, and went lower when I did my push-ups. So I guess I got a better workout. Today after work I`m going straight to the gym to do pilates. They don`t have a class- i wish they did. I just go to the open stretching area, and do my thing. I sometimes feel a little self conscious, because have you ever seen the movie ``Gigli`` with Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Well, there`s a scene where she`s doing pilates in the living room and it`s really hot! I wonder if that`s how people view me when I`m stretching etc. Some of my excercises I save for just at home - like the jackknife- you basically put your butt and legs straight up in the air using your arms for stability. But there`s a couple that I just don`t care, because I know that they will make my butt look good- it`s called the side-kick series. I kick my feet right up and do these big leg circles. Oh well...times up gotta go.

Standing strong in the storm...

Yesterday, I was in the company of the most courageous people you'll ever lay eyes on. I had to take Ally to the Stollery Children's Hospital for her 2 year checkup. Allison was born with a heart murmer. We've been lucky in that it hasn't affected her quality of life, but sitting in the waiting room of the heart clinic, I saw how her life could have been.
A bubbly little sweetie, probably about 2 years old, with a cute little black curly ponytail, white frilly top and light purple pants, floated up and down the hall - the waiting room was too tight and congesting for her. So she walked up and down the hall, and would peak in the rooms and say "hi, whatcha doin?" She looked happy and normal, except for the backpack that she had to wear with a tube attached to it that went up her nose.
Children with heart murmers (ASD or VSD) sometimes don't get enough oxygen to their blood, and sometimes need oxygen tanks. I couldn't help but think this could have been Ally, if her hole was just a tiny bit larger. I also saw a baby - about 6 months that had to fed through a tube. He couldn't nurse, his parents took a big syringe and hooked it up to the end of the tube that went up his nose and down his throat. The whole time, I tried to smile, because they were smiling, and in awe. Thinking, "How can you be so together, and happy when you can't nurse your baby, or your baby has to wear an oxygen tank every moment of her life?"
It turns out, that Ally doesn't have to go back. Her hole is so small, and the only reason that it needed to monitored was for dental reasons- yes dental. If she had to go to the dentist, she used to have to take antibiotics before she could let them do work on her. I kind of remember what it's for, but don't want to explain, just incase I've got it wrong. anyways, they changed the criteria for patients that need the antibiotic and ally doesn't need to take it anymore.
So we had some time before Haley got home from school, and thought we'd check out the food court -yes, this is the UofA university hospital and they have a food court- crazy. So as we were walking through the food court, we were walking behind an elderly man - about 70's, who had an IV stand in one hand and was pushing what could only be explained as a wheelchair bed. He slowly pushed a woman that I could only guess to be his wife, through this large busy corridor, people weaving around him. I was thinking, "I wonder how many times they've taken this trip, because he's very calm and purposeful. How do you stay so calm?"
I guess the only answer is Love. Love is what helps a mother put on the brave face, hold her child's hand while their getting tests, and smile, and even laugh from time to time. I think it really put things in perspective as to how blessed I am, and that the problems I have with constant underwear behind the bathroom door, and messy rooms seem quite small compared to what some parents have to face. They have my deepest respect.

What I wrote for Bonnie...

My friend Bonnie has asked me to post some of my "gym stories" on her youtube channel. I don't know. I don't feel like I'm that inspirational, but I guess the fact that I am working out is something to people. On friday, they had some t-shirts on sale for $5 at work- I work at Old Navy. I had been looking at these cute little henleys since we put them out in January. Well! I jumped at the chance! I didn't even think about it, I picked up a large like I usually do, and when I got home I was so suprised at how big it was on me! Have I really lost that much weight? I've moved from the large section in pants also. I'm in size 10's now! And I feel so good when I look in the mirror and my tummy isn't the first thing that I see. I'm 5'10 and 165lbs and counting. When I started working out period, I was 189lbs in Sept 2007. I had a desk job where I was getting no excercise, constantly eating out, and high stress. At the end of the day, I would eat to make me feel better. Ice cream was my comfort food of choice, and because of long days, I didn't feel I had the energy to make a meal. So most often we would eat out. I quit my job in July, and decided to stay home with my family and destress. My husband also wanted to loose weight, so he got us a membership to the YMCA in September of 2007. I worked out, but not too seriously, about 2-3 times a week, but I didn't care for the routine that my trainer had me on. (an hour of free weights and 30 mins of cardio...too long! I want to be in and out!) And after awhile, it was down to one day, and my husband had to drag me!! So I found another trainer(I go to the Y), and she was really good. I told her that I didn't want to be here for a long time, but I wanted results. So she put me on routine of 20 minutes of pull-ups (on a weight assistance machine), push-ups and sit-ups, and I just added dips to the mix. That was in the spring of last year, and I did it two days a week, and that helped to keep my metabolism reved. I also started to swim while my girls were having their swimming lessons. I would try to swim for the whole half hour. Summer came, and I just gave up, and did other things. But when I got a job in Sept, I found I was way too tired to go the gym. I was getting up at 5:00 am and then working for 8/9 hours. I went to the gym just before New Years to blow off some steam, and weighted myself. I thougt for sure that I would be so suprised at how weight I had gained. Suprisingly, I was the same as I was in summer! (Just not quite as toned.) Now that it's after Christmas, retail stores have slowed down alot, and so I just decided that since I have all this free time, I'm going to go to the gym right after I get off work, instead of heading straight home. I've been doing the pull-up routine Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and on Tues & Thursday, I do pilates or swimming - usually pilates. I've been doing this for about a month now, and I feel awesome. I still have a ways to go, but not too much more. I'm trying not to judge myself by weight, but by clothes size. A size 8 is perfect for me- size 6 too skinny. So...that's me. I'll try and keep you posted to how things are going. I also have a blog where I have been journaling my life and my adventures at the gym. http://adayinthelifeoflyndsey.blogspot.com/

Twenty-something things about me...Part II.

I did one of these on facebook, but was recently tagged ...again! I was happy, because there is so much more that I could tell. Ok, here is how it works, you tell 25 things about yourself and send the note to 25 friends, and they in turn have to tell 25 things about themselves. Kind of like a one-sided 20 questions game. ok...brace yourselves.

1. I have taken a lie detector test, and failed. (ironically, i WAS telling the truth)
2. I LOVE the blend of electric guitar and piano/synth. ie: evanescence, linkin park, some of the new hillsongs music!! (With Everything!!!!), the Killers, Maroon 5, Coldplay!!!
3. The sound of accoustic guitar thrills me....(sigh)
4. My fingerprints are in the "system". Seriously, they are!
5. I've wrestled with a bear cub.
6. I used to have a cleaning OCD, but then Ally came along, and I gave up.
7. Bridget and I used to balance under the Simon Frasier Bridge for fun. aaaahhh! I know!!! We also used to balance on top of my fence also.
8. I hyperventilate from spiders. I used to from wasps, but I'm ok now.
9. If I could have a superpower, it would first be to fly, then be able to breathe under water.
10. So far, Irish accents are my fav. I also like South African.

11. I love bacon so much, that I don't buy it. The same goes for chocolate (gooooood chocolate, and brie). I'm scared of where my lack of self-control will take me!!

12. I wrote a song for my dad, because I wanted to him to feel the way he makes me feel everytime he sings the song he wrote for me when I was a baby. No kidding, I hear the first couple notes of the intro and I'm done. I recorded my song for him, and it worked. He now cries whenever he hears my song. :)

13. I have the most amazing support system. Seriously, my friends are the best. They know how to encourage me, and just the right things to say.

14. I wish I had all the answers. I hurts me to hear painful stories and not able to fix them.

15. I love pizza so much that I learned how to make it from scratch. My favorite toppings are feta, sundried tomatoes, spinach, olives and/or capers. The worst I tried was at my cousins place. He's a cardiologist and thought he would make a "healthy" pizza with salmon and cheese. disgusting.

16. I was beaten at tic-tac-toe by a guy who was in a wheelchair and couldn't speak. I thought for sure he was mentally handicapped, nope, his brain was very much intact. (bad car accident)

17. I've been called the Anti-Christ! Remember that Sarah?! haha!

18. The Poisonwood Bible is my favorite book...so far. I haven't found one better - though I read slow, so I haven't finished too many books.

19. I have an idea for a children's adventure book set in World War II.

20. I finally think it's ok to cry. For alot of my life, I would be mad at myself for showing genuine emotion, now I don't hold back. Which sets me up for heartbreak, but oh well.

21. Brian is my prince. WE have the same size feet, and same size hands. When I went to Mongolia, our interpretors had the same size feet and would share shoes. At the time I thought that was so sweet, and romantic. I realized this fact the other day, and thought..."yuck! I would never share shoes with brian! " But it does have it's advantages.

22. I love to mountain bike! I love to ride on rough trails, and steep hills. very exciting.

23. I want to get certified for scuba diving and hopefully go cave diving on our next trip to Mexico. Cenotes are incredible!!

24. My sister is my best friend. I can tell her anything & EVERYTHING.

25. I have a "bro-mance" with Teresa. We are so huggy and cuddly when we haven't seen each other in a while. It's the only way I can describe it. She knows my deepest, and darkest secrets also, and is still here! She completes me. ha ha

and wait...there's more! (Don't you hate when they say that on infomercials?!!!)

26. I love to go out for breakfast! Sunday brunch...mmmmmm.

27. I love to go out for supper at a real good restaurant, that uses quality ingredients. I think the best I've been so far is Hotel MacDonald, and a hotel that my dad took us to when I was 12 in Vancouver, right on the water, by Stanley Park. He let me get a seafood fondue!! My mom was livid!

28. I love to play video games. I've beaten Super Mario Galaxy, Guitar Hero II (medium level), Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and Super Paper Mario.

29. I can't write anymore...I have to go to bed. good night.

Stir crazy...

I have to say that I am getting a little stir-crazy with all this time off. When I clocked out, one of the girls asked what I'm going to do with my day, and I thought,"I don't know!!" When I'm busy, I'm always dreaming about what I'm going to do with my spare time, but when it comes I rarely take the opportunities to just drop everything and just do it.

So I got in my van and was going to go to Starbucks, but I saw that I packed my gym clothes. PHew!! that will kill an hour and a half! So that's what I did, went to the gym. I'm pleased to announced that I went up in weight on the pull-up machine. I'm lifting 71 lbs. everytime I do a pull-up!! (unless I've lost some weight, it could be less. I haven't weighed myself in a week.) That's crazy!! This time I skipped all the songs on the playlist and just listened to "Let's Get Rocked" 3 times, and "Ave Maria" by Pink once, and I was finished my 20 minutes of pull-ups, push-ups and sit-ups. The time is starting to go by really fast now - especially on the ellipticals. Last time, I was running, running and then glanced down at the screen- 20 minutes had gone by!! It's quite an improvement for me.

I then stopped by Starbucks on the way home. Brian bought me a gift card from there for Christmas, so I could have Starbucks on my lunch breaks, there's a couple walking distance from where I work, but alas...no lunch breaks. Anyways, I had a Java Chip Frappacino. I thought I would mix it up a little, because I always either get a London Fog or a White Mocha Cafe Americano misto- try saying that 10 times fast!!

Came home and watched a movie! We have the movie channels free for three months, because we switched from Telus to Shaw, and I don't really check to see if there's any movies on. Well, there happened to be a good one "Catch and Release". My sister thinks that I look like Jennifer Garner. I can kind of see the similarities, - cheek bones, lips, dimple, but that's about it.

I then picked up Ally from school, and I decided on spur of the moment, that we would go for a walk. It was sunny, it was warm, and there was still snow on the ground! Every winter, I talk about going for a winter walk to take pictures and spring comes and I realized that I missed it! So I gave ally, my little Canon A650 and I had my new Nikon (eekk!!) and we went walking. I went down the bike path by our house out to what I used to call the green space. It's wide open and used to be the end of the city. I'm so sad, because when I'd go there, it was like I lived in the country - wide open field. If the wind was blowing north, you could smell the pungent smell of farms and manure. Now, there's a freeway, and a whole new subdivision! I found the perfect little pine cone on the path, and this picture made my whole day. I think I'm hooked! I want to go out today and take pictures! There are so many cool spots that I've found while walking downtown. We have China town, International Ave, and lots of cool old buildings with great architecture. I also love grafitti and brick walls. I don't know if I'll make it downtown today, but I have a feeling that it will be soon. I feel quite alive when I'm taking pictures.

Pizza dreams

I have to go to work in about 15 minutes, but I HAD to write this down! I had a CRAZY dream last night. There are some dreams that I have that are just weird, and don't make sense and I don't even bother with them, but then I have some dreams about friends, and myself that are somewhat believeable, and quite a bit of them come true!!

For instance, last summer I had a dream and I was at the gym and for some reason in the back of my thoughts was an old friend who had found me on facebook! It was so weird, because when I woke up I hadn't thought of her in years! Then last week, while I was on the eliptical and then I had a like a deja vue(is that how you spell it?) and I remember having that dream!! It was pretty weird. I've also dreamed that my family was at the church picnic, at my last church, and a friend of mine was holding a new baby. The next day in church, she told me, that she was pregnant!! I've dreamed about friends having relationship problems with their spouses, and if nothing else it made me pray for them - hard.

Well, my dream last night was like I said before, crazy. I dreamed that my friend Sarah, was being followed around with cameras - like on a reality show. Her and some friends were watching a sports game (i think it was football, not sure). Anyways,then it cut to us driving in a fancy Lincoln towncar. I was complaining about this one road, how bumpy it was, and I look back and the REALLY cute asian guy that was sitting next to her slip her a kiss. My jawdropped! "Sarah! you didn't tell me you guys were dating!!!" (because she never does, I have to find out by seeing her holding some cute stranger in the river valley!! And think, "wow...that looks so much like sarah! OMG it IS sarah!!" ha ha) And she told me that ya, they were seeing each other...and then the car came to a stop at the lights and all of a sudden I was naked and felt the urge to streak. So yes, folks I jumped out of the car was running down Victoria street in Prince George, and thinking as I was running, "man, I'm not jiggling as I run, I look pretty good!" Cars were honking, people heckling..ha ha I know it's deep.

But the best part is, I wonder if this might come true(not the streaking part!!). That would funny because Sarah, has said that she's not too attracted to Asian guys - which is funny, because she is Asian.

Well, times up, got to go to work, see ally get an award at assembly today and then snuggle with some new babies :) I have a feeling it's going to be a great day.

Today was church day. I always feel so good when I leave. It truly is a "spa for the soul". From the worship to every person that I talk to, I always leave refreshed and happier. Today I was there early, because I was on the worship team today. We had a great practice and finished early. I was wandering in the empty foyer, and happened to hear the cappacino machine whistling. So I hopped right into the multi-purpose room hoping to score a free coffee. And I did...yay!! Anyways, as I was walking around with my coffee, and a group of people just came in from being dropped off from one of the buses. I greeted each one of them, and one lady stopped to talk to me. She's actually someone that I must have had a deep talk with before, because she had asked me if I got the piano I wanted. I was able to tell her that yes, God had provided a beautiful fullsize electric piano for me, by way of my mother. And then she told me about her prayer journal, and how she knew which prayers were answered because she kept track of praying them. Which totally reminded me of a journal that I had just found a couple of weeks ago.
This was not a prayer journal - in fact sad to say, my spiritual life was almost non-existent at that time. Brian and I were going through some really tough times, and I didn't tell anyone how far gone we really were, but I still went to church because I knew somewhere deep down that I needed to go. Anyways, I wrote in there somethings that we needed for the house, some of wishes and dreams - one being a new van with A/C. Our last van, we ran it almost right into the ground. The transmission blew, and we had to get a new engine. The thermostat also was shot, so it would warm up, but when you started going, the heat would shut off. I remember we took a trip to PG after Christmas, and had to be so bundled up. I think I got a chill and I was wearing my winter jacket and a polar fleece hoodie underneath!! It was horrible!! I also, talked about wanting a new washer and dryer, and how with my old one, I had like 12 small loads to do every week and that was when everyone was healthy!!! It took so long! I wanted my basement finished, because everything got ruined when we had the floods in the summer of 2005. Anyways, as I was reading it, everything that I had written -except for the new house was taken care of!! I have a beautiful high capacity washer and dryer - still the same amount of laundry though :( And last summer, I was blessed with a beautiful gold Grand Caravan with AIR CONDITIONING!!
I'm saying all this to just say, that alot of my stuff I've had for a few years now, and forgot what it was like to be without them. I've actually become quite comfortable with all my "things" I have to say. It made me very aware, of how much I have, how much I have to be thankful for, and that my quick, heartfelt prayers were heard. And also, to not stop believing for my dream house- (StrathconaSG) or of course one very similar. Hope this encourages you.