Lunches....blahhh

Well, I can't take credit for these photos, they actually came from this blog that I just happened upon today.  Very interested, and very inspiring - if you can call it that.  I don't know about you, but i have a picky eater in my family.  We can't bring heat up lunches to school and it has to be peanut and seafood (tuna) free.  So that makes it hard when two kids absolutely LOVE peanut butter and one loves peabutter.  But peabutter gets stale after awhile.  Anyways check it out, and I'll keep on trying to solve the what seems eternal question - what's for lunch?

It's sooooo cold.

Right now I'm in my basement doing a cram session of editing photo for a client that I promised the pictures would be ready in 2 weeks - well, that's tomorrow!  I hate that I procrastinate!  I'm really trying to break that habit - that's why we joined the gym again.  It's so nice it has a steam room!  I can't go in saunas because they are too dry and give me nosebleeds - every time I go in them without fail!  Anyways, I took a break to look at Facebook and I found a post from DiscoverIreland.  If anyone REALLY knows me, I have this thing for Ireland - it's like a strange eating disorder - but without the shame.  I don't know how to explain it!  I'm always reading, watching movies...i'm obsessed.  so...anyways..if I was telling this "story" most of my friends would have tuned me out by now, but for the patient...Look what I found! A soup recipe.  Just looking at it makes me feel warm inside.  I think I might try it - just have to find out where to buy butter-beans (Love them!)

Jane Austen

Well, I was quite wrong about Jane Austen.  The more I read of Sense and Sensibility I realized that she did add ALOT of detail.  I could imagine the expressions on peoples faces as they were talking, and feel their passion.  I think it was just in the beginning to get all the boring, complicated back story out that she tried to condense.  I really enjoyed Sense and Sensibility.  Jane sure knew how to build suspense, and interject suprises!  There was a couple times that I had to put my book down and just say, "wow! I never saw THAT coming!" 
Well, since I have this BIG HUGE Jane Austen book with like 6 stories in one book, I finished Sense and Sensibility and started right on to Pride and Predjudice.  Pride and Predjudice was quite a bit easier for me to get into because a) I could understand the lingo b) the backstory didn't seem too complicated.  A family with 5 girls and there is a wealthy man moving into the area.  The mom wants to introduce her family to him and hopefully get one of them married.  I think the only thing that bugs me is the fact that the families estate goes straight to a distant cousin after the father dies!  Why?!!  Why can't the mother own the house?  What?  They don't believe in women owning property then?  It still bugs me, and makes me so thankful that I live in a different time.  Where my whole identity wouldn't be defined by if I was married or not, OR if i was good "breeding".  BREEDING!!!  Sounds like dogs and horses.  Honestly, I want my girls to be happy with whomever they choose.  Yes I would want them to have a decent living, but not to be so greedy to disregard a person of character for someone who's personality is defined by how big their pocketbook is.  BORING!  In Jane Austen's time if you marry for money, it's considered a "good match".  I know that we do it in the day and age, but seriously! 
  I'm loving Pride and Prejudice, because the main character - Elizabeth has strong, decent morals and isn't intimidated to stand up for them - no matter how much money or influence you have.  Marianne from Sense and Sensibility was the same way also, but she seems to have more style than Elizabeth has.  Elizabeth isn't silly - unlike her mother, who is always comparing herself to other mother's in the community (ie: Mrs. Lucas) and is not aware of the people around her and how they percieve her.  Elizabeth is very self-aware and very discerning, and her judgment on character is always right.  I would like to think that I am that kind of person.  Not silly, or mean, or use my influence for hurting people and their reputation.  Which is one reason why people hate working with women - because they gossip and always backstab each other.  DRAMA! 
so ya..That's where I'm at with that.  It's either photo editing, photoshoots or weddings or scrambling to catch up on housework lately.  Looking forward for school to start.  Crazy.  I was happy for it to end in June.  My girls have such a hard time with kids.  bullies. stupid teachers who do nothing. silly kids (mine) who don't tell me stuff until it's too late.  So it's been nice to spend some time to recooperate and love on them.

When the cats away...the mice eat ice cream!

Well, I have the whole house to myself..well almost. It's just Allison and I. I like it, it's been a lot of fun, but since my life has been going way too fast in the last year, I haven't allowed myself to stop and take care of things around the house- and that's going to change! So here's a list of things that I do when it's just me.

• I watch girly movies! I rented "Leap Year" with Amy Adams & Matthew Goode. I actually really liked it. I was going to watch it twice, but honestly, i have lots of work to do before brian and Haley come home on monday. Also watched Bounty hunter, but it wasn't so good. I kept getting distracted...that can't be good when you're watching a movie. Also, I have to add that Matthew Goode looks WAY better in the movie than in this poster.

• I read! I don't know why, but I don't read when I have lots on my mind. I find that with each person I have at home there is more to think about. So I found when Emily went to stay with my mom, I could feel the stress go a little bit, and when brian and Haley went, my mind cleared a little more. And then i told Old Navy that I couldn't come in this week, cleared up ALOT more. funny how a 8 hour/wk job can do that to me! I also told the worship team at church that I wouldn't be able to help out for the summer. Man I do alot! Anyways, back to reading. I'm reading Sense & Sensiblity. Since I can actually concentrate on what I'm reading, I actually like it. The first few paragraphs a little confusing trying to figure out the difference between Mr. Dashwood, and Mr. John Dashwood, and remembering what his wife's name was. Though, Jane Austin does leave alot to the imagination. I can see why it must be hard to write a screenplay on one of these books, because she just skips so much, and where there could be so much more detail she just compounds it all into one boring sentence!

• I bake! I've made brownies AND cupcakes! I bought all these baking mixes from Costco. Even though I didn't have the time to bake and use them I knew that I would one day! And that day finally came!
• I go out for breakfast! That's one thing that Brian does not like to do is go out for breakfast. To him that's a waste, and that you shouldn't pay someone to make something that you could easily make yourself. That's true, but...to me it's so much more than that. It gives me a reason to get up and out of the house - especially when I have lots of stuff to do. Also, it's a great way to connect. Ally and I had fun talking about all kinds of stuff over chocolate chip pancakes at Denny's. (I had eggs benedict - not as good as I make it, but I didn't have to make it!)
• I have girl nights! Yep, tomorrow, some of my friends are coming over and were going to watch MORE girl movies! and I'm feeding them my brownies and cupcakes :) My house is clean, so I don't feel bad.
• I go out for ice cream! Tonight I took ally out for ice cream at Marble Slab Creamery. They have a new flavour - Green Tea! I wasn't sure, but I had a sample and it was delish! Not as harsh and bitter/dry? as the smoothies from Booster Juice (which I really like btw). It was really creamy and had a different taste. I paired it with strawberries and coconut. Ally got cotton candy ice cream with gummy bears. she's such a kid!

Anyways, I'm thinking about painting the downstairs bathroom before Brian gets home and do a couple projects that he hasn't got around to like putting new shelves in the hallway closet and may sprucing up the kitchen cupboards with an antique glaze. Right now they are cream, but I'm thinking of putting a chocolate brown glaze around the inside moulding for a new look. We'll see if I have enough time or not. Now off to put a little girl to bed and edit yet some more pictures.

Pressure!!

It has slowly been building over the last week, and actually the day before we left Disneyland.  That is stress.  Being is Disneyland - being on vacation for that matter was nice.  I didn't have to think too hard about what to eat,  just walked across the street and someone made it for me.  Or, wonder if I taken tomorrow's dinner to defrost, or if it will thaw in time, or school stuff, or hear how much emily hates school, and how she wants me to homeschool her again, or ANYTHING!  It's such a blessing to be able to take a break from life.  But... the last night in California, I peeked at my business email, and that's when it started.  I was starting to think about planning photoshoots, and worry if people are going to pay for their photoshoots, and how to go about _______.  Oh it's endless!  Your mind can really keep itself busy if you let it. 
Well, I've been quite busy with my photography and on top of it, Old Navy has scheduled me for everyday that I said that I was available.  Thinking that was too much to handle I chose to cut my availability drastically.  I felt so good last night, thinking about what I would do around the house with my free time, but that didn't last long.  Went to check my email to find out that they had scheduled me everyday next week again!  AND up it went again!  My heart rate, my breathing, the pressure on my chest...not fun.  This emotional rollercoaster can't be good for my body.  I talked to my boss, and it turns out that it is only for one more week, and then i have the hours that I want.  So i just have to press through, and try to stay positive.  Everything usually works out it the end...it's just waiting - the in between part that kills me!  Speaking of dinner, I should go make some.  peace out.

Colorpages for Mom

I'm feeling much better after going to bed early two nights in a row. But, I think I'm pushing it again by staying up late to fold laundry and watching "Rent". I don't know why I'm watching it. The music isn't that good, but it's better when you can see what they are singing about. I've tried to listen to the soundtrack online and couldn't handle it. The melody is nice, and the harmonies are INCREDIBLE but the lyrics are like talking at times and can be quite bizarre to listen to one of the songs by itself. You have no idea what they're talking about!

Ok this is a weird segway, but do you like coloring? I love it, and i confess that I love to look at the coloring section at Michael's - you know where you can buy those felt posters. I want to buy one that would take you forever to color, but then I think forward and it really would kill me to not finish it. And WHO has time to color when there's more important things to do like _________. But that all changed when I found this site! http://www.colorpagesformom.com/ Yes, a FREE coloring site with small manageable projects. I love geometric patterns, but they have flowers, butterflies...and it's for MOMS! That alone gives me permission to color!

tired...

I sooo wish I had the energy to post something meaningful today, but I am really tired.  Did a photoshoot yesterday..and that was INCREDIBLE!  I'm so happy with how the pictures came out!  But when I got home, I crashed and woke up at 4 in the morning!!!!  NOT cool!  But I do feel inspired to write, because a friend from church said that she read my blog and really liked it!  (yes you know who you are mystery person ).  And...I do have a couple meaningful topics that I would like to blog about, but not now.  too tired.  Oh..did i mention that I had to get up at 6:30 for church this morning?  uuuugh.  ok..i'm going. I feel better that I wrote at least something...but it's not all that inspiring or meaningful.

tick tock...

I think the only thing that I don't like right now about my photography biz is the suspense and waiting. Tonight I had consultation with a potential customer and she brought her father with her. They were paskistani/muslim so I was expecting them to want to negotiate, because the package they wanted was not your standard. I'm not a natural business person, but I'm learning to be. It's so funny that when God calls you to be something/do something, you initially think that your going to have to develop just one skill, but you end up needing to develop multiple! How else could He talk you into it?!! I know that I would have been a big chicken and ran away! Just like Joey from Friends - "I don't do sales!"

Last year I thought, if I could just master my camera...now it's advertising, promotion, sales, accounting...sigh. But I'm doing it! Hey, if God believes in me, I should certainly too!

Well I most certainly ended up doing some negotiating, and I have to say that I think I did pretty good. The last time I had to I was too desparate and ended up regretting my decision. This time I came to a decision that I think we are all happy with. I'm growing! But for now, I wait. They will get back to me in a couple days with their decision, if it's yes, then I'm going to be taking pictures of two beautiful receptions, one small intimate wedding ceremony, and formals. My friend who just came back from India, offered to lend me her sari, and begged to be my assistant. I'm imaging how colorful it will be...sigh. Oh the suspense!


Update:  I got the job!! and it ended up being my first indian wedding.  LOVED the food and the people.  They were so gentle and hospitable.  I would do it again in a heartbeat! Here's a picture that I took from it.

We made an agreement that I wouldn't show her beautiful face online.  Which is too bad, because I thought she was the most stunning bride that I had of the season!  Oh well.

B.C. - British columbia

I just came back from my visit to B.C.  I couldn't help but thinking how fresh and moist the air is there.  Up in the mountains, with all the trees...sigh.  It was a break that the girls and I DESPERATELY needed, even though it wasn't completely without it's ups and downs.  A visit with my family is bound to have some drama - it never seemed to be.  I keep telling myself that healthy families are loud and don't keep anything pent up - they vocalize their feelings and hopefully not hurt others in the process.  But how do they always seem to hit a nerve; a soft spot that hasn't quite healed?  Sometimes I leave there and think why do I keep coming back? Mostly it's for my girls, so they have a relationship with my mom and dad and auntie, but on the other hand - little things get said here and there and they cut so deep.  It's funny how a family member can hurt you 100x more than a best friend ever could, because they know you and think they can take liberties that others can't.  Trust me, it's not all bad. We have alot of great times together, but there are times that I wish my love language wasn't "words of affirmation".  The sarcastic, joking, bitter remarks stick to me and I don't forget them...."oh that's where your daughter gets it from..."  haha...ummm..no.  why is it all the bad traits, people try to pin on me?  why can't they notice the good ones?
I don't know if this is just a phase, where my emotions are always so close to the surface- emotional flooding as they call it in my parenting class.  If it is, I hope it passes fast.  I hate being sensitive, and vulnerable.  I'm working on it.  yay...another happy post from me.

Get rhythmn

Do you have "ah - ha" moments? What are they? How have they shaped you into the person that you are today? You don't have to answer, but today was one of those days. I find it so encouraging to go into the house of God each sunday, and be able to give my talents and serve. Most of all I am in awe of how God gets a hold of me through the preaching of the word, through my conversations with my "church family". Since I started to get busy with my photography, I realized that it was from God and I just gotta ride the wave, and just trust Him to give me the grace and energy to carry it out. I know that I have nothing to do with it, other than I do the prepratory work - like being faithful at my photography lessons, and learning what I need to know about working a business and selling myself. (the resources that God directs me to.)

Since it has slowed down for the month of May, there is temptation for the devil to come in and tell me that I'm not successful, and that I should just quit. That it's not good for the family for me to be working this much because the house IS quite chaotic.
But I have taken this time to catch up on housework, work at Old Navy, and work on my course. Just trust God that HE's taking care of me and giving me a breather before my big & first wedding season. But you know what, I was a little bit guilty because my house wasn't running smoothly, everything not "Perfect" (that should be a swear word by the way!!) and I told someone on the phone last week when they asked how I was doing, I said, "well, you know, I'm just trying to find that healthy balance between being a wife,mom,and working two jobs. I'm finding it hard juggling it all."
Well, today at church we had a guest speaker talk about getting into rhythmn with God - getting in sync. Realizing that there is a time and season for everything. And to trust that God knows, and takes care of us. (that's what I've been doing!! I've been doing it right!! yay!) Also to know what time it is. There is a)Chronos time - time that is measured and b)kyros time - experiences. Kyros is the God appointed time - when God opens up opportunities for you, you've got to run with it.
Another thing that I got out of the evening service, was a verse that my pastor when I was a kid would always quote it from Jeremiah. " i have plans of peace...to bring you to an expected end" I don't remember it word for word - but it was a promise that God thinks good about us, and doesn't have plans that would harm us, but are to prosper us and are full of hope. Did you know that was written to people living in the slums in Babylon?! They were unhappy! They were transplanted and God said that HE moved them there and He wanted them to happy and build houses and plant gardens and immerse themselves in the culture.
Then the pastor said, "how many of you moved here from other places?" Shockingly, 90% of the people in the sanctuary put up their hand. We - I was transplanted to Edmonton, and He has something that HE wants to do in my city. I love my city. I don't know why...or where it comes from. But it came from a very young age - God put it there. So all the trials that I go through living away from my parents is worth it, and I would do it again. I do miss my family, and the mountains...and lakes...and hiking trails...sigh. everything. But I know I would be unhappy, because I wouldn't be in sync with my creator.
Find out what God is doing and get in sync with him. get rhythmn.

Peace...

It's funny how a mother doesn't have peace until the last eyelid is closed. I just got out of the shower and was trying to figure out what was this nagging feeling, why can't I enjoy my shower?! Everyone's in bed...hey wait. Emily might still be up. today, one of her friends told Emily that she was a werewolf, and then did some trick that Emily is CONVINCED is magic. Em said that she was jealous, so said, "oh ya?! well I'm a leprechaun!" she said that they went back and forth, back and forth until the girl said, "oh ya, well then you better watch out, because there is a bad man who is looking people like us, and if he finds you, your in trouble!" So that's what my night was filled with...trying to convince Emily that her friend wasn't a werewolf. YAY me! The only way I could calm her down was to tell her that she could sleep in my bed. It was an act of desperation! I really don't want to share my bed, it's taken me years to accept that I have to share a bed with my husband! Yes I love him, but I LOVE to stretch out. The things we do for the people we love.

Breathe...

Wow..I can't remember the last time that I had the day to myself. They don't come as often as they used to. I've been working so much between Old Navy and my photography. If it's not one it's the other! But this month, it was weird like all of a sudden I have no bookings. I was scheduled to do a show at my church, but that fell through.

So I've decided that I will make good use of my time. I'm going to use it as a time to catch up on housework, and then finish as much of my photography course as possible. Last night I had a bath (with my newly bought bubble bar from LUSH) and took my textbook in with me. I got a couple pages read, then I was starting to nod off. I was thinking I should do this more! Look at me multi-task! I also did a photo shoot with Haley on Mother's day. She needs some current pictures for her grade six graduation. So my baby is going to have the BEST pictures up there! We had fun, I let her pick where she wanted to go, and we just wandered downtown. I even got her to take a couple pictures of me. It was a bit frustrating trying to communicate to her how to take the picture the way I saw it in my head. finally I just gave up, and realized I DID give her the camera to use, and it's HER interpretation. I had to just let go. It was fun to bond over something that I love, and I think she is starting to appreciate it also.

So right now I'm writing from my new computer. How am I able to afford all this new stuff...truthfully, I'm not. haha No, I've booked 5 weddings this summer and now I have to book more to pay for Photoshop CS5. I was happy with the 5 I booked, but now I realize that I have to book a couple more, to stay on top and not get overwhelmed-financially speaking. Anyways, a couple weeks ago I was editing an INCREDIBLE photo shoot that I had, and my computer said that it could save the files because I had low disk space!! AND THEN after I fixed that, the DVD drive crapped out, so I ended up giving the client 4CD's! It looked great and impressive, but I'm trying to do things as cost effective as possible! So I realized as nice as it was for my mom to give me an old computer, I had to invest in a new one if I wanted to get further with my business. So we went shopping, I did research online to find out what i REALLY needed and got some great advice from my brother( who just graduated from college as an IT tech!!). So yesterday driving home from Best Buy, I was a little nervous - hoping I made the right decision. Right now I'm feeling pretty good, but it's just a pain that I have download Photoshop again.

It's official!

We have the most AMAZING travel agent! Sandy did such an amazing job for us. There was a chance that we were going to be able to go - because we were so late getting back to her ( I have a couple photoshoots in between this and my last post - AMAZING photoshoots I might add). She came back to us with a hotel that was more than we wanted to spend. Brian said no...it was too much. So I took a deep breath, and started searching. I believed that there HAD to be what we wanted for a cheaper price, and I found it! I quickly phoned Sandy and told her what I found and she booked it for us - FOR CHEAPER! All day yesterday I was thinking about palm trees and the warm California sun...sigh. It was so nice. I kept hoping that we would be able to go - there were only 6 seats left on the flight that we wanted. So..yay! we're going!

Other news..someone thinks I'm a strong woman! I've been nominated to be in a web magazine called Women's Empowerment Canada. They are going to do a story on me, and I have a photoshoot on Saturday! The only thing is I had to wear something red. I really don't have anything red, which is quite suprising because it looks really good on me, and it's the wrong time of the year to buy red - there are only spring colors in the store. But I was successful after going through almost every store in south edmonton - literally and $200 later (eek...) I have this most wonderful outfit!! It looks like I lost weight, but I really haven't! I'm so excited now. It's weird to have to talk about myself- like REALLY talk about myself. I feel that there are so many other people that would be more fitting, but I'll take it, and trust their judgement. I'll keep you all filled in how it goes.

Disneyland or a new kitchen....hmmmm

Emily & Haley waiting to board the plane to go see Grandma 2007. Aren't they so cute and little?!!

Well, we have a savings account that we automatically put savings into. It's been really nice, because that's how we saved up for our trip to Mexico a couple years ago, and it's that time again. We have almost $5000 and my friend who's a travel agent sent me an email regarding travel deals to Disneyland. So...right now it's either a new kitchen or Disneyland.

Kitchen

Pros

• Lasts longer
• I would FINALLY get a dishwasher
• More storage for my small house
• would be able to clean other parts of the house instead of always focusing on the kitchen...blah
• don't have to rush to apply for passports for the girls
• would be able to get into my dream house faster - the one that's big enough to have a studio on the main floor!! you know!

Cons

• no disneyland, and would be another 2-3 (at our current rate of saving) till we could plan another trip. They might not all be interested in going then.

Disneyland

Pros

• Finally fulfill our promise to take them see Mickey & the gang.
• Take them to another country, with a different environment - an adventure.
• Valuable Family time - we only have so much.
• GREAT photo opportunities!
• Get to go to Hollywood, LA, Lego land, San Diego Zoo, Tiauana and have margaritas!! yuuummmmm.

Cons

• More time in my small townhouse (at our current rate of savings). blaahhhh...
  
  

Well...we have to decide. If we were to go it would be next month. Either way it's nice to have such great options. Both are a win/win and would benefit our family IMMENSELY. Just which one...

Growing, stretching and everything in between

The last week has been an especially amazing week. Who would have thought that a year ago, that my pictures would have been shown to over a 1000 people in one place, and one of them being Mayor Stephen Mandel!! My friend Tamara, was asked to sing a song for the prayer breakfast and asked me to take pictures of the city and put it on a slide show! (will be on youtube hopefully soon) To top it all off...I booked my first wedding! My first REAL wedding! Reflecting today...I have grown so much since January. Here's a few things...

1) Confidence IS key! If you don't have confidence in yourself, people won't either- no matter how good my price is.

2) Advertising is like fishing-Sometimes you catch a little, sometimes you catch alot. The most important thing is that you're patient and DON'T quit. It's just a matter of when, not if- if you're in the place you should be.

3) If you under promise and then over deliver, you end up being the hero! I tell people 4 weeks at the most before they get their pictures and I usually process them in 2. I won't tell you REALLY how fast I can do them...but it's fast. :)

4) I can't go wrong with the Holy Spirit on my side. There have a been a couple photoshoots that I have prayed under my breath, asking God to help me when I'm scrambling for ideas, or all the ideas I had just didn't fit with the location or lighting. He is faithful - everytime, and when I go to process the pictures in front of computer, I realize that it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. He also helped me through creating my powerpoint presentation- haven't worked with powerpoint ONCE in my life! And I put together a WHoLE slide show with music! (with help from Lorne - tamara's husband) I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

There's actually alot more, but I'll save them for another time.

Christmas Holidays and Babysteps...

I had a very wonderful, relaxing christmas. We went to B.C. for Christmas. I think it's funny that Brian insisted on coming this year, and not letting me go by myself - which I am used to doing. But it's a good thing that he did, because the roads were pretty bad. It looked like they used to be totally covered with packed snow, and then melted (it was 3C when we were going through the Rockies). So there was deep slush, and made it hard to drive. Brian said, just turn on the 4wd. I totally forgot about! That made it so much better! When we got to mom's we just relaxed and ate. Watched movies, put together puzzles, played wii. Tennille and I were able to get away and do some shopping just the two of us.



I got to shovel! I don't think I've told you about my fondness for shoveling. I didn't really realize that it was there till we finally bought a shovel this winter. We live in a townhouse, and therefore we pay someone to come and shovel all the sidewalks, but this year I decided that I wasn't going to wait for someone to come and shovel mine, because sometimes they don't come till the snow is all packed down. Also, my neighbors have shovels, but they only shovel their walk and the other neighbors walks and skip mine! I was a little disappointed, decided I need my own shovel. Anyways, on the first big snow, went to Costco bought a supremo shovel and went at it. I shoveled my parking spot, and while I was, I was flooded with happy memories. Mom would kick Chad, Tennille and I out to shovel our LOOOOONG driveway. I hated it and would often protest, but the fun part was afterward, we would end up playing or having a snowball fight or I would pull chad and tennille on the toboggan (never the other way around, because they said I was too big. I can see that, being the oldest). So...when I saw that it snowed at mom's, I was sooo excited to get out there and shovel. She has a pretty long driveway, so I shoveled the driveway, the porch, the sidewalks. I wanted to do it all by myself, but tennille and riley insisted on helping me...grrrr. Oh well, it was fun. Dad said that I'm really fast.

Christmas Day was fun, though mom and dad were both sick. Mom said that Tennille and I would have to take care of dinner. I said sure. But she would start to feel better and take over - like mom's do, so I would leave and go and visit with company, and the she would start to feel crappy again and say,"why isn't anyone taking care of dinner?!" So we did that a couple times, and then I just had to take charge and say, "mom, go to bed and rest!" She listened...it was weird.

I think my favorite part of Christmas holidays was on our drive home. I'm still working on my photo project for my photography. I don't know why, but I want it to be perfect. Brian wanted me to stop at Mount Robson and take a picture there. I didn't want to burst his bubble and inform him that you usually can't get a full picture of Mount Robson it will probably be cloud-covered because it's so tall. (tallest peak in the Canadian Rockies). But pulled into the parking lot, and Brian saw what I was thinking. But before we left, I decided to pull down this road that goes toward the mountain. I knew that there was a lake somewhere close by, because we had gone inside to the Interpretive Center and had seen a map. So I started driving and it was a little intimidating, because it looked like no one had driven on the road in a while, because it was all fresh snow. There was tall trees on each side, and I had this thought, "If something happens to us, no one would know! Oh God protect us!" But I kept driving, for like 5 minutes and then we got to a this trail, and there was a bridge. So I got out, and there was this beautiful mountain river....gorgeous! I wish I would have taken a pictures of how much snow there was on the bridge, it was up to past my knees! The girls stayed in the jeep and were engrossed in their movie, but as cold as it was, I didn't want to leave. I just wanted to walk around and explore. I hope I can go back there one day and do some hiking.

I'm on Day 21 of my babysteps with Flylady! This is as far as I got the last time, and then quit. But I'm doing it! I'm so happy with my house. It's not perfect, but I have confidence that it will get there. Today is home blessing hour. Where you set your timer and spend 10 minutes on 7 different jobs, like mop, take out trash, vacuum, dust, I can't remember them all, but it all written down somewhere. This has actually inspired Brian to do some projects around the house, and I'm not freaking out thinking I have to clean up that area first, because it's already tidy! So, just to let you know, I am breaking one of Flylady's Eleven Commandments - don't get sidtracked by the computer. To be honest I was on here to get a recipe for Candy Bread from my friend Cher, and then thought, I would check to see if someone had commented on my blog, and NO. ANd I thought it's been a while since I blogged, and here I am. And off I go to do my morning routine, and it's still morning! I'm getting better :)

Day 3, 4 & 5....6 and 7

Well, It looks like I got too carried away with birthday week to remember to post the rest of my activities. Oh well, not too much to report. I went out for lunch with my friend Teresa on Wednesday. It was so nice to actually spend some time with her. We're both so busy with our lives, but I find that if I tell her that I miss her and that we need to get together, she's the one friend who will stop everything in her incredibly insane crazy life and take time for me. I do feel honored, because she has routines...hardcore, and to mess those up, you must be pretty special.

I've actually been working on my own routines. I started doing Flylady again. For all who don't know who Flylady is-who is probably most of you- an online life coach/ motivator. She helps women who are overwhelmed and help them to slowly build routines and help them feel good about their homes again. I don't know what it is, but my life has been so chaotic since I had Ally. Everything was so perfect and in order. I used to make homemade birthday cakes and cards, make and send out christmas cards - ON TIME the last week of November with a newsletter and a family photo. I'm lucky if I even send christmas cards now. I don't what it is, but life has been different for 7 years now. Poor kids all they know is chaos because they don't remember me when I was a mini Martha Stewart.

So far I'm on day 9 of my babysteps. I was really proud of myself for keeping my sink shiny for 8 days in a row - until..... I didn't realize it before, but I have this cycle where life is good and then something happens and I carry everything and it paralyzes me. I can't do anything. It renders me immobile. That's me this morning. It's taking me everything within me go get off this couch and get dressed to do my morning routine. There is so much going on lately with brian's work...my work, the girls at school (which seems never ending) that I just want to hide. So I have this battle going on inside of me, my body says to curl up in a ball and sleep it off but my spirit says that if I stop everything that I been working on the last 8 days will go down the drain, and it will be 100 times harder to get started.

When things got this bad, I would find unhealthy ways to relieve the pressure with food, unhealthy relationships...thank God I've dealt with those. Foods not an issue anymore, and relationships well, I recognized the ones that are getting between Brian and I and cut them off. Brian has seen my cry lots over the last couple days and it sucks. He offered to take me out for lunch today :)

So...I guess I'm going to set my timer for 15 minutes and get ready for the day and start my routine, before the morning is over. Go see my hubby and get some laundry done. Today is my day off. Maybe I'll do some baking when I get my morning routine out of the way. I'm feeling better just thinking about it. Writing truly is therapy for the soul. sigh.

Day Two: Vampires, Werewolves and Gingerbread Cake

Day two went by way too fast. I didn't have a chance to check out my emails till now. I woke up at 4:45...then at 5:10, then again at 5:15...and then finally forced myself up at 5:25 with only twenty minutes to get ready. There was only 3 people working this morning, but we did the work 8. It was incredible. Carmen the janitor bought me Starbucks, because she heard it was my birthday tomorrow! It came at a perfect time, because I was running out of steam. I felt so special :)

I was off work at 1:00 and cuddled on the couch with brian for half an hour then went straight to bed. I was supposed to go to a parent teacher meeting at 3:00, but brian let me sleep through and He went to it. Which is so wonderful of him. I hate them. Seriously, I grow up loving my children thinking they are perfect then it takes one teacher who hates their job trying to tell me otherwise. I can't take and I have 3 to go to every report card. Why can't they be positive? It's always so negative. So Brian was in this teacher's face, and asked lots of questions. He should go to them more often.

When I woke up it was almost time to go out for dinner with brian. He took me to Earl's - a place that I absolutely love. Because they actually take the time to create good food, instead of letting fat be the main ingredient. For dessert we had gingerbread cake with caramel drizzling, vanilla gelato and poached apples. I wasn't expecting a present, and was truly content just spending the night alone with him, but Brian pulled out a Pandora gift box. It turns out that he picked up a Pandora silver bracelet for my mom and he bought a silver rose bead to go on it! It was a great suprise.

I didn't have any cravings for anything after my meal. We were walking past all the concessions at the movie theater and for once I didn't want any of it. We watched New Moon - brian hated it. Turns out that all the men in our theatre hated it. I heard them as I walked by, "Man, that was stooopid." "Ya, that was the stooopidest movie ever". See? Brian you weren't alone. Now I'm off to bed to go cuddle with my hubby somemore :) Day two rocked!

Day One: Crankpots and Strep throat...oh my!

I had my first test on what I learned in church on people pleasing yesterday. Actually right after I finished writing my entry from yesterday! A manager from Old Navy phoned and asked if I wanted to come in early today because they thought they were going to get a big shipment. I really didn't want to, because we had to do grocery shopping and I had to catch up on laundry. It was funny because the manager said...I'm telling you all this and don't want you to feel pressured. (ummm...that's kind of what you're doing). I kind of had a mini- breakthrough. I didn't say that i would go in at 6, but i said I would go in at 9:00 after the girls went to school. But I really didn't want to even do that! I should have said no. I don't know why I said I would do it. The words just came out so fast! I was thinking no, and my mouth said yes!! CRAZY!! Anyways....She ended up phoning me at quarter after six this morning letting me know that they didn't get as big as a shipment as they thought they would. I have to say I was very relieved, but not happy to be woken up so early.

I had so many hopes for the day. I was hoping to get my nails done, but Haley woke up sick again with a sore throat. She asked me to buy her another package of throat lozenges, but i thought it was probably time to take her to the doctors. She's had a sore throat for quite awhile and it wasn't going away. I thought it might be strep, so I phoned the doctor first thing in the morning. We ended up spending 2 hours in Walmart while waiting for our perscription! They were very busy. So Haley and I looked at makeup, and toys. And then we were almost out of the store, she was starting to feel nausous from the hot chocolate I bought her from Tim Hortons. Bad idea.

So Haley stayed at home and rested up while brian and I went grocery shopping at Costco. When we came home, Brian and Haley went to the mall. Haley went to buy me a present, and Brian went to get his haircut. The whole day seemed to go buy so fast. But the best part was getting some time with Haley one on one. She would never say it, but she appreciates having me to herself. She talks my ear off!

Well, no one came to Crankpots. Alot of people said maybe, but it was probably for the better. I thought Haley would really like it, so I invited her to come. She was so excited to be in Old Strathcona. She loved the old buildings and the christmas lights. It was fun to be able to show it to her. I painted a mug and a penguin ornament. And haley painted a cute bunny figurine and a gingerbread ornament. It will be nice to see how they turn out. When you paint with pottery paint, your never quite sure how it's going to come out, because the paint comes out of the bottle way lighter. I want to do it again, and make sure that I take someone with me. :)

Birthday Week

It's that time again. Birthday week. I love the whole idea, because one day never seemed long enough to me. So when my pastor said that she was having a birthday week, I thought, "What a GREAT idea! Genius!" I can't tell you how excited I was! Everyday she would do something that special and that she absolutely loved to do. Something spectacular that you couldn't do everyday, because then it wouldn't be special anymore.

So my goal for birthday week this year is to connect with as much people as I can possible. So many times I say no, or even entertain the thought of asking someone out for coffee for the fear of rejection. Which by the way was in Pastor Dennis' s sermon on sunday - People pleasing and I'm definitely one of them. Though, I do have to say that I'm not as bad as I used to be, but I still have a ways to go. So I just jumped right in and made an event on facebook inviting people to come to crankpots. I kinda worded it like I'm going to be there and if you want to come you can, but if you don't that's ok, because I'm going anyways. I'm used to doing things alone...haha. Isn't that depressing? I know..you don't need to answer.

One other goal for this week is to get my nails done. Like gel nails. I love them, and I usually don't get mine done because 1) they're expensive 2) I had a REALLY bad experience at this asian place....really bad 3) my nails and hair grow so fast, that for the amount of money that I spend it would be nice for it to last a while. So why am I doing this? They ARE very good reasons. Well, I found out a girl at church does nails from her home and they are REALLY nice and fancy., AND they are resonable! So I thought if there's a time that I should have nice nails it should be definitely be birthday week.

I also think I'm going to go on dates with everyone in my family alone. Brian is on tuesday, and the girls will be on Monday, thursday and friday. I think I'm going to take Emily to the Creamery. An Ice cream place here in town that has gourmet ice cream and you can add things in like fresh fruit, nuts, candy (!! gummi bears!). She's been bugging me about it for awhile. Ally always seems to be with me when I get my craving for it. Haley, I think we'll go shopping (or maybe if she's feeling well, I'll bring her to Crankpots with me). Ally, hmmmm....I don't know yet. I have to think about that.

I still don't have the whole week planned - that's ALOT of space to fill with stuff for just me, but I'm sure I can do it. I also have two WHOLE days off this week - weird. I'm sure photography will definitely be involved. I've been doing so much for everyone else, I think I'm going to take a week to just focus on me - spiritually AND mentally. cheers xoxo