Midnight musings

    I hate it when i fall asleep on the couch, wake up and it's like 2:00 in the morning.  I could go back to bed, but it's so quiet and peaceful.  It's the perfect time to think or do something around the house without being disturbed, but i know I'm going to pay for it in the morning.
  I was creeping on Facebook tonight looking at pictures that people have posted-(i don't know why I feel guilty when people post it for you to see!) just thinking how fast the time is going by.  I always seem to do this at the beginning of school and at the end of school year for the girls.  I once had a conversation with my dad, telling him how I felt that life was going by so fast- sometimes too fast and that I wished I could slow it down - like when I was a kid.  He told me that he remembers feeling that way- especially when we were younger (my brother sister and I), and that for him, life eventually began to slow down again when he became a grandparent.  So...I guess i have something to look forward to.
   Today I decided at the last minute to go on a field trip with Allison's class to Elk Island National park.  Personally, for a national park, it wasn't all that impressive for me.  In fact, it was quite the let down to be perfectly honest.  Sure we saw bison - like three, but it was mostly trees and bush.  The "lake" was a big dirty big pond with tons of leeches in it. To me, a lake is a body of water that you can swim in.  If you can't swim in it, it's just not worthy to have such a title.
  Our first activity was to go on the dock and each parent had a station and groups of kids would go from station to station with their butterfly nets dipping them in the water and emptying the contents in the basin.  My station was apparently the one with the leeches and egg sacks, sadly no frogs, but lots of tadpoles. Other stations were catching minnows and frogs, nice things, but now I had to get the one with the gross stuff.  I made the mistake of revealing to one little boy how disgusted I was with the leech that he found - it was at least 5 inches long and half an inch wide in one part. He chased me, put the net right up to my face...it was awful and he was so delighted with my reaction.  horrible!
   I don't think it helped that the day before I was flipping through the channels when there was some story that caught my eye about how hospitals use leeches to get rid of excess blood to body parts that are swollen and won't drain the blood properly.  Did you know that they have three little jaws and bite in the shape of a "Y"?  I didn't and that wasn't comforting to know when it was crawling around in this little girls net asking me how to get it out.  I just wanted to tell her that the leech would never be coming out of her precious little net and that she should accept it and just throw the net in the water, let it sink and not worry about it!  I was hoping that the teacher would have picked up on my terrible discomfort, and hopefully relieve me from my station but he didn't and we ended up doing this for 45 minutes!  Oh the things we do for our kids!
  I would have been happy not knowing what was in the water, though I have to admit, it was amazing to find out how full of life it was.  On the surface the water looked so dull and placid, but if you looked our basin, it was teaming with life.  Being by the water made me long for home. There is a fresh water lake at least 30 minutes in each direction and each one is swim-worthy!  (Not to mention the rivers and creeks also.)
   I'm hoping to get home to Prince George this summer.  This is the longest that I've been away - a whole year!  I'm trying to make plans with mom, but our schedules are just not working out so easily.  Mom wants to go hiking in the ancient forest- something that I've wanted to do since college.  I found this book in the library once, when i was 16 about hiking.  I was very big into it because i had just come back from Mongolia, and had to buy alot of my supplies for the trip at the army surplus store (camping store).  I was itching for information on anything that had to do with the subject.  I read a book by a couple who had hiked the Appalachian mountain range in Eastern US with their baby. (I thought it was very impressive, until i had a baby of my own- and that was a different story!  I never let Haley be exposed to the elements till she was about 10 months, before she totally covered up, over-layered and always indoors.)  I read another book about hiking in the Rockies - daytrips around Jasper. I loved reading how each author packed for their trips and the tips they had for survival in the elements.
  Anyways one day i found a book written by the College of New Caledonia hiking group- the college in Prince George.  They had made maps of all the local trails and rated their difficulty.  There was explanations for what to expect and if you needed a compass - which apparently you need one on some of the trails - they are that unspoiled. I found it so exciting, because it was something new for me to explore, because I felt like I knew Prince George, and found everything there was to know about it. I think I rode almost every back trail at least once.

So.... I was waiting till I was either old enough to go by myself, had some friends who wanted to do it with or have a husband to take me.  Well, when i got old enough I was too busy with other things - like jobs and didn't quite make enough money to buy myself a car.  Of all my friends only on liked hiking and that was Bridget.  We were separated for a year because she went to Bible School and I was stranded in PG.  When it switched, I went to Bible school and she stayed home, well she ended up finding a husband.  Well, I did find a husband- that first summer at Bible school actually, but he was such a city boy that camping/hiking didn't have much of an appeal unless you had a tent trailer and HOW would we afford a tent trailer?!  I'm slowly easing him into it, and he's coming around, but when it comes to summer time sometimes it's just not fast enough for me.
   I should really go to bed.  It's nice to know that I don't have to get up if I don't want to.  Get all stressed because someone can't find a matching pair of socks, or there is no school snacks because Allison ate them all, or better yet, have to run to Walmart to buy milk at 6:30 because there is none!  Those mornings are done for, at least for a couple months.
  I feel good. There has been times when the end of school year fog has lifted and I was unhappy with how little I had accomplished with the kids and how fast they are growing.  I'm happy to report that I'm content.  I'm thinking it's because I'm busy doing things that make me happy, instead of waiting for them to happen one day.  I'm putting in the effort daily instead of being passive hoping that one day I'll be able to accomplish.  And anything that I haven't done, well i feel that there is still time and we definitely have another school year to start over brand new.  I can't give up....too much living to do.

A Woman Should Have...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....


enough money within her control to move out

and rent a place of her own even if she never wants

to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her

dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to

retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black

lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who

lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone

else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a

recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

HOW TO QUIT A JOB,

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER,

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,

the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

whom she can trust,

whom she can't,

and why she shouldn't

take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...

be it to her best friend's kitchen table...

or a charming inn in the woods...

when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she can and can't accomplish in a day...

a month...and a year..."

— Pamela Redmond Satra

Israel.. recap.

It's crazy how fast life can go from boring to exciting in a second..and then back to boring again.  I can't believe how much I've done in just a couple months.  It all seems like a dream...too good to be true. Israel was better than I thought it would be.  I didn't let myself expect too much because I usually - with my crazy big imagination get let down.  For instance, there was this trip that Brian and I took back to Ontario.  It was the first time back since we left and I was so excited...looked forward to it for months.  I thought about all the people I would see..thinking that nothing had changed, that all the friends I had would still be there...but they weren't.  They had all moved away.  I didn't get to go the places that I wanted to because i was dependent on my husband's family.  And well their idea of entertainment wasn't mine. It was such a let down in so many ways.  So I learned not to get my hopes up and have healthy expectations that way I don't get disappointed.

Well, I have to admit that looking at books and websites I started to get really excited. Talking to friends who had gone, looking at their pictures I was able to be convinced that maybe what I read in the travel book could possibly be true.  It was weird sitting in the Edmonton airport at midnight, all by myself, waiting for my plane to board.  I'm always surrounded by people and if I'm not, I always have something that I have to do.  It was weird to just sit and wait and not have a computer in front of me.  I have to say that I had a hard time with it, but by the morning I eased right into it.  I met my mom in Toronto airport and we had breakfast together and just talked.  If that's all I had done, I would have been happy.  But no, I got to go to another country and see a different culture.  While I was there for the first few days, I enjoyed myself, but by the end of the 10 days, I didn't want to leave.   I silently protested on the beach...hoping that it would convince the to sun to not set and that my time there would never end.  But sadly no...and here I write.

Toronto Airport

Catching up with mom....

A glimpse of what lies ahead. (I miss seeing signs in Hebrew)

First glimpse of Tel Aviv after 12 hours of waiting.

We made it!

The Via Dolorsa

Jerusalem  - old city

Church of the Holy Sepulchre 

Jerusalem - Jewish quarter

Church of the Nativity - Bethlehem 

The Dead Sea from Masada 

The big wall - Bethlehem

Via Dolorsa - Jerusalem

Old City market - Jerusalem

boy, that guy has a really big gun.

shopping in the market

catching up with old friends. 

We used to live in the same apartment building a floor apart in Ontario.

Happy Camel.

Garden of Gethsemane

Jerusalem

by the wailing wall

Tel Aviv - 

Ceasarea Martima - 

Mom and I in the Mediterranean

Sunset on the Mediterranean

I hope I can go back...if not, I'm happy to have had the chance to go and I'll always have the memories.

Rhema Soul - "Good start"

This is what happens when I have a semi-clean kitchen...

I bake! 

These are so easy to make.

• Roll out a package of puff pastry into a 10x10 square, cut it into 4 squares.
• Put dollop of pie filling of your choice (I chose E.D Smith apple and cherry - yes I made two packages worth!)
• Put on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper
• Brush them wish one egg lightly beaten
• Put in preheated 400F oven for 15 minutes
• Turn down to 350F for 20 mins until filling is warm and bubbling
• Take out and enjoy
• Drizzle with lemon icing (2 tbsp icing sugar, 1 tsp lemon juice)

They turned out really good, every time I make them they get better each time - imagine that!
Tomorrow making "Candy Bread".

Mark 13 -

My days have been very heavy the last week, and it all came to climax this morning.  Last night I had the honor of doing photography for the funeral of man in our church- John Williams.  I wrote about it on my photography blog here.

   It seems quite fitting to talk about Mark 13.  Things are starting to heat up and the Pharisees are looking for ways to kill Jesus.  So Jesus is starting to have serious talks with his disciples and prepare them for a time when they won't have him around.  In Mark 13:1 it says...

"As he walked away from the Temple, one of his disciples said, "Teacher, look at that stonework! Those buildings!"

 ²Jesus said, "You're impressed by this grandiose architecture? There's not a stone in the whole works that is not going to end up in a heap of rubble."

This impressed on me the message that get your priorities right.  I have these dreams of traveling to Europe and taking in the grand landscapes and wonderful architecture, but really landscape can change so fast these days and architecture can crumble and fall - World Trade Center for instance.


  How fast the tsunami came and swept away a third of Japan last month, and along with it I'm sure alot of people's dreams.  Jesus knew that one day all the grand architecture they were looking at would be buried under the ground one day.  I'm excited that I'll have a chance to see all these ruins, but I'm positive that it will be nothing compared to what it once was. 

It's scary to even write this, because I remember when there was time when this was the stuff that movies were made of. Have you noticed how everything seems to escalating? Since about 1998/99 the movies are more apocalyptic - weather patterns are increasingly more violent. How quickly 9/11 came and turned our world upside down.   And with 2012 coming so close, people are wondering if this might be the end.  

This is what Jesus has to say..

^5-8Jesus began, "Watch out for doomsday deceivers. Many leaders are going to show up with forged identities claiming, 'I'm the One.' They will deceive a lot of people. When you hear of wars and rumored wars, keep your head and don't panic. This is routine history, and no sign of the end. Nation will fight nation and ruler fight ruler, over and over. Earthquakes will occur in various places. There will be famines. But these things are nothing compared to what's coming.

 ^9-10"And watch out! They're going to drag you into court. And then it will go from bad to worse, dog-eat-dog, everyone at your throat because you carry my name. You're placed there as sentinels to truth. The Message has to be preached all across the world.

 ¹¹"When they bring you, betrayed, into court, don't worry about what you'll say. When the time comes, say what's on your heart—the Holy Spirit will make his witness in and through you.

 ^12-13"It's going to be brother killing brother, father killing child, children killing parents. There's no telling who will hate you because of me.

   "Stay with it—that's what is required. Stay with it to the end. You won't be sorry; you'll be saved.

This totally got me thinking - I had to even reread this.

Do I have the guts to stand up for Jesus?  

What if it really came to that?  We - I take forgranted our religious freedom.  I have tried for many years to be ignorant of the persecution that is going on in the world, but no matter how hard I try, it is still happening.  For instance this woman...so sad.  Seeing those two girls at the beginning of the video made me think of my girls.  

^21-23"If anyone tries to flag you down, calling out, 'Here's the Messiah!' or points, 'There he is!' don't fall for it. Fake Messiahs and lying preachers are going to pop up everywhere. Their impressive credentials and dazzling performances will pull the wool over the eyes of even those who ought to know better. So watch out. I've given you fair warning."


There is so much that I could say about this topic - in fact I will probably do a whole post about it. 

 ^24-25"Following those hard times,

   Sun will fade out,
      moon cloud over,
   Stars fall out of the sky,
      cosmic powers tremble.

 ^26-27"And then they'll see the Son of Man enter in grand style, his Arrival filling the sky—no one will miss it! He'll dispatch the angels; they will pull in the chosen from the four winds, from pole to pole.

 ^28-31"Take a lesson from the fig tree. From the moment you notice its buds form, the merest hint of green, you know summer's just around the corner. And so it is with you. When you see all these things, you know he is at the door. Don't take this lightly. I'm not just saying this for some future generation, but for this one, too—these things will happen. Sky and earth will wear out; my words won't wear out.

 ^32-37"But the exact day and hour? No one knows that, not even heaven's angels, not even the Son. Only the Father. So keep a sharp lookout, for you don't know the timetable. It's like a man who takes a trip, leaving home and putting his servants in charge, each assigned a task, and commanding the gatekeeper to stand watch. So, stay at your post, watching. You have no idea when the homeowner is returning, whether evening, midnight, cockcrow, or morning. You don't want him showing up unannounced, with you asleep on the job. I say it to you, and I'm saying it to all: Stay at your post. Keep watch."

So good news for all those scared about 2012.  The most important thing is that Jesus says that, "the message has to be preached in all the earth."  That means when every people group has heard the message, then Jesus will come back to get his bride.

 Last weekend my pastor talked about this, and his take on it is not just every people group - as in nations, but different groups of people.  We as humans group with people of like interests.  And that Jesus will come back when every kind of person and interest has had a chance to hear about Jesus.

 I'm encouraged more than ever to keep writing this blog, because if I can be a light in anyway I want to be.  We are called to be salt and light.  To not hide, but to proclaim the message of a risen Saviour.  I don't want to be found asleep, worrying about things of this life, I want to be found doing the things of my Father.  And if I get called to heaven early, I pray that my life will be of some impact.

  I have made peace with the first question, do I have the strength to stand up for Jesus?  I think I do, and pray that I don't have to be tested in this.   I'm mature in my Christian walk to know when God is speaking to me and I had the feeling of not obeying.  So when He asks me to do something - even if it is hard or awkward (which it usually is) that I would rather do that, than have that awful feeling in my stomach wishing I could stop time and turn it around.  To me that would be Hell, trying to put that behind me and forgive myself.  I'm sure Peter had to go through that when he denied knowing Jesus not just once, but three times!

But I have one question for you.

 What will you do with Jesus? 

 Will you ignore Him and pass it off as a fairytale or just a story, or will you take it seriously and make Him number one in your life? The Bible says all you have to do is love the Lord with all your heart, your passion and strength and you'll be saved.  

Jesus loves Gays.

Ok, I was going to write about the End times, because that was what yesterday's reading was about, but I keep coming back to this in my writing, so I will let it run it's course.  So here it is.

 But this is not really related, but I have to say it.  I was watching Glee tonight and it was a rerun.  I was kind of excited about it, because it was about Jesus...well "grilled Cheesus", but then as the episode went on, it was written from the view that why wasn't God there when, this person's mom died, and why did God let this person's sister be born with down syndrome and why did God allow this one guy be "born gay" and all his "followers" (notice the quotations..) tell him that God didn't want anything to do with him if was gay.  It made me mad because this was written from someone who was obviously hurting, and didn't see when God was reaching out them.  People want all the answers and they want the now.

     But like a wise man I know once said, "...Maybe we are asking the wrong questions.  It's not why are all these bad things happening, but, 'what can I do to help?"'  I know that God created us perfect with no sin, and He gave man dominion over the world and handed it back to us to take care of it. God doesn't go back on his word and it has to run it's course.

WE let sin into the world and with it comes disease and suffering. 

WE are responsible for global warming - not God. 

WE are responsible for the garbage and all the plastic floating in the Ocean that is killing millions of birds - NOT God.  

We are responsible for killing millions of species by our selfishness and lack of concern for the environment - NOT God. 

    Sin is SO aweful, that it took drastic measures to deal with it.  Someone had to DIE, and THAT my friends, is why God sent Jesus.  He didn't create the mess and He certainly didn't have to clean it up, but He wanted to.  He was willing to clean up our mess knowing full well what was involved and He, Jesus lived his life fully aware with unwavering focus on what His life was about.   

We think we are so much more intelligent, but we are killing ourselves with all the chemicals and technology.  They come out with new medicine and then have to recall it because they find out 30 years later that it causes cancer.  Man, does not know everything.  It is hit and miss with us.  We have to use scientific method to get any sort of success - but God, HE just has to speak and there it is. He doesn't have to read up on how to use something, because He is the Creator-He created it.  Six days to create the world and one to rest - I think He did pretty good don't you?  We're still discovering some of the things He created.

Ok, back to persecution.  I just have one more thing to say on this, God loves gay people.  It's true.  His heart is so full of compassion for them.  It makes me mad when I hear of someone hating in the "name of God".  The term totally contradicts itself, because God is Love.  What is really happening is that a modern day Pharisee is hating on a Gay person - and that is not what Jesus stood for AT ALL.  He was in their face (pharisee's), and challenged them many times.  If Jesus was here today, He would be saying this....

"Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor." Matthew 7:1-9

  So if you are gay and your reading this, seriously take another look at Jesus-the REAL Jesus.  Not what you've heard about Him, NOT what people have said - Find out for YOURSELF.  You will be pleasantly surprised.  I personally love the gay people that I've met -seriously.  I wish they weren't hurting so much-they are so broken inside. I wish I could take all the pain away, but I can't.  I know someone who can though. Jesus.

One in a million

This is such a beautiful song, and the message goes very much along with what I've been feeling the Spirit is saying to me. Be the answer.

Mark 10 - Loosen your grip - stockpile your treasure in Heaven.

I read this yesterday during my bible study and this is the passage that stuck out to me.  It's worded a little different in Mark as opposed to Matthew.


¹⁷As he went out into the street, a man came running up, greeted him with great reverence, and asked, "Good Teacher, what must I do to get eternal life?"

 ^18-19Jesus said, "Why are you calling me good? No one is good, only God. You know the commandments: Don't murder, don't commit adultery, don't steal, don't lie, don't cheat, honor your father and mother."

 ²⁰He said, "Teacher, I have—from my youth—kept them all!"

What came next got me and made me ponder to make sure that I didn't miss a thing - I even re-read it a couple times.  

 ²¹Jesus looked him hard in the eye—and loved him! He said, "There's one thing left: Go sell whatever you own and give it to the poor. All your wealth will then be heavenly wealth. And come follow me."

I can imagine Jesus pausing and taking the man in.  Studying him, looking him in the eye, to make sure he was for real.  


 ²²The man's face clouded over. This was the last thing he expected to hear, and he walked off with a heavy heart. He was holding on tight to a lot of things, and not about to let go.


You don't hear this message too often, but how many times does God give us the opportunity to do something - jump feet first and we stop to weigh the consequences.  How tight we try to hold on to things, when God asks.  It's not to be deprive us, but He knows that He has something better.  And talking to Christians, We have so many reasons for not getting involved in church - doesn't fit in with our "schedule". 

"I can't wake up at 8 am to sing at church  - too hard on the kids."

"I can't go to church, because my kids have hockey practice at 6am "

"I can't get involved in church because I don't know anyone"

There are so many variables and excuses, but it got me thinking Jesus could have had another disciple.  We only hear about the ones that dropped everything and followed Him and didn't look back.  This is the last that we hear about this guy.  He was so close.  He put so much focus and attention into keeping the commandments, but he couldn't let go of the "things" in his life.  Are you worried that if you take the plunge that you'll be losing out?  You're so close, you've been a good person , but making Jesus #1 is just too much.  

I say we need to find out what God's priorities are and structure our life around them - even if it kills us.  Life is not just about us. Christians, stop being selfish.  Coming to church and getting involved is not just about you - it's for others.  To build relationships, and to be "Christ" to others.  Be willing to ditch your "schedule" and make a new one.  Be flexible enough that when a crisis hits that you can be there- they rarely (if ever) come with an announcement.  I'm being impressed to get rid of as much earthly "stuff" as possible and see how much I can live without.  So here's what I'm in the process of getting rid of

• Books (I have so many books!  It will take me FOREVER to read them all because I'm such a slow reader),
• magazines, 
• Movie Channel, 
• expensive makeup, 
• expensive coffee,
• eating out excessively
• toys that the kids no longer play with, but we save for the day (that never comes) when we have small children come to visit.
• start shopping with coupons and look for sales when grocery shopping - be wise with our money.
• the dream of one day owning a big house - (this is a big one for me, as we live in a townhouse.  I'm just starting finally give that dream up to God.  Whatever happens, it's really not that important.  Though a big bathroom would be nice one day with three teenage girls.)

"Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being."  Matthew 6:19-21

P.S.  I'm so thankful for the friends who ditched their schedules to help me out the last couple weeks.  You are amazing.  thank you.

I'll Never Become a Christian Because...

I'll Never Become a Christian Because...

Living the God-Life

The last month while reading the Gospels, there seems to be a resounding theme - Live the God-Life, live life God's way!  Not only in my bible reading, but in what I watch on TV.  These mental images are just expoding in my head when I read.  One night my heart was heavy with things of this life, and I was even questioning God's call on my life - was I really doing the right thing by pursuing photography? And the Spirit said, "John 15...the Vine"  I memorized this verse when I was in grade school so I knew this verse well, and had meditated on it.  I opened it up in the Message Bible (my reading bible of choice).  and it said....

"I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn't bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken.



4"Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can't bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can't bear fruit unless you are joined with me.


5-8"I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

9-10"I've loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you'll remain intimately at home in my love. That's what I've done—kept my Father's commands and made myself at home in his love.


11-15"I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father.

And then it jumped out at me...

16"You didn't choose me, remember; I chose you, and put you in the world to bear fruit, fruit that won't spoil. As fruit bearers, whatever you ask the Father in relation to me, he gives you.

And as soon as I read the word "fruit" I thought of all the nature shows that I've been drawn to watch on Netflix where there was an abundance in these remote coral reefs where the eco systems were in tact, and not interfered by man and their chemicals, or a foreign species was brought in and threw the whole ecosystem out of balance.  I felt like God was saying that when I live my life according to his principals that can be found in His teachings, that my life will be abundant.  I was made to bear fruit and to share with others as a tree shares it's fruit to share with others. When I don't, my life gets poisoned, and I become self-centered and no good to nobody.


If you feel like your at the end of your rope, remember, that God has chosen you to be alive on this earth and there is a reason - to bear fruit.  To be alive to help others, to know who He is and have a relationship with Him and to encourage others to serve Him also.  If you don't know who He is, I encourage to find out by reading the Gospels.  Don't listen to what other people have said- find out for yourself, and make a quality decision for yourself.  I guarantee that the people that talk smack about God - don't know Him and haven't experienced His goodness.  They are so angry, and hurt and He seems to be the easiest person to blame it on.  God from the very beginning, has been all about love.  Unconditional love.  He DIED on a cross, knowing FULLY what was going to happen.  But He stood and faced everything - the excruciating pain, the suffering, because He knew that by shedding his blood it would cover the sins of humankind and bring us back into right alignment with Him.  He brought the spiritual ecosystem back to balance, so we can have Heaven's life here on earth, and in the earth to come.

The book of Matthew

I've been reading the Gospels to get ready for my trip to Israel in about a month - I can't believe it is so soon!  I started with Matthew..which seemed logical.  I don't know how many times I've read it, but this time seems more alive than ever. During Matthew 13, I can close my eyes and smell the fresh air, feel the wind in my face, and most of all I can see Jesus' eyes and his tone - how He interacts with  people, how he truly wanted them to get the message of who God was. 

There are so many things that "hit home" with me this time.  One of them is how he talks to the pharisees.  When I was a kid, I could never relate to it.  To me they were bad people, and it didn't occur to me that they were SPIRITUAL.  Jesus didn't get mad at the people who didn't know better, or ignorant.  He got mad at the people who acted like they had it all together, and imposed their rules on others.  They showed that they really didn't know who God was!

 Matthew 6:1
"Be especially careful when you are trying to be good so that you don't make a performance out of it. It might be good theater, but the God who made you won't be applauding. ^2-4"When you do something for someone else, don't call attention to yourself. You've seen them in action, I'm sure—'playactors' I call them— treating prayer meeting and street corner alike as a stage, acting compassionate as long as someone is watching, playing to the crowds. They get applause, true, but that's all they get. 


I never really realized till a couple years ago that there are still "Pharisees" today!  I realized when a friend who moved to Edmonton came to our church and I sat with her and her boyfriend and his friends who went to a different church.  Pastor Dennis what preaching a mean sermon, and the whole time these guys were talking and whispering to each other..."oh ya well what about this?"  I was so mad by the end of the service.  It was just rude and no sense of honor and respect for God's house.  I found out later that they were attending a seminary. 


Whenever I read something about the Pharisees, I was brought back to that day.


Matthew 12
^1-2 One Sabbath, Jesus was strolling with his disciples through a field of ripe grain. Hungry, the disciples were pulling off the heads of grain and munching on them. Some Pharisees reported them to Jesus: "Your disciples are breaking the Sabbath rules!"

 ^3-5Jesus said, "Really? Didn't you ever read what David and his companions did when they were hungry, how they entered the sanctuary and ate fresh bread off the altar, bread that no one but priests were allowed to eat? And didn't you ever read in God's Law that priests carrying out their Temple duties break Sabbath rules all the time and it's not held against them?

 ^6-8"There is far more at stake here than religion. If you had any idea what this Scripture meant—'I prefer a flexible heart to an inflexible ritual'—you wouldn't be nitpicking like this. The Son of Man is no lackey to the Sabbath; he's in charge."

 ^9-10When Jesus left the field, he entered their meeting place. There was a man there with a crippled hand. They said to Jesus, "Is it legal to heal on the Sabbath?" They were baiting him.

 ^11-14He replied, "Is there a person here who, finding one of your lambs fallen into a ravine, wouldn't, even though it was a Sabbath, pull it out? Surely kindness to people is as legal as kindness to animals!" Then he said to the man, "Hold out your hand." He held it out and it was healed. The Pharisees walked out furious, sputtering about how they were going to ruin Jesus.

I also loved how he put them in their place.  They would try to come at him with stabbing question, well He did just the same!

Matthew 15

1-2 After that, Pharisees and religion scholars came to Jesus all the way from Jerusalem, criticizing, "Why do your disciples play fast and loose with the rules?"

 ^3-9But Jesus put it right back on them. "Why do you use your rules to play fast and loose with God's commands? God clearly says, 'Respect your father and mother,' and, 'Anyone denouncing father or mother should be killed.' But you weasel around that by saying, 'Whoever wants to, can say to father and mother, What I owed to you I've given to God.' That can hardly be called respecting a parent. You cancel God's command by your rules. Frauds! Isaiah's prophecy of you hit the bull's-eye:

   These people make a big show of saying the right thing,
      but their heart isn't in it.
   They act like they're worshiping me,
      but they don't mean it.
   They just use me as a cover
      for teaching whatever suits their fancy."

 ^10-11He then called the crowd together and said, "Listen, and take this to heart. It's not what you swallow that pollutes your life, but what you vomit up."

 ¹²Later his disciples came and told him, "Did you know how upset the Pharisees were when they heard what you said?"

 ^13-14Jesus shrugged it off. "Every tree that wasn't planted by my Father in heaven will be pulled up by its roots. Forget them. They are blind men leading blind men. When a blind man leads a blind man, they both end up in the ditch."

 ¹⁵Peter said, "I don't get it. Put it in plain language."

 ^16-20Jesus replied, "You, too? Are you being willfully stupid? Don't you know that anything that is swallowed works its way through the intestines and is finally defecated? But what comes out of the mouth gets its start in the heart. It's from the heart that we vomit up evil arguments, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, lies, and cussing. That's what pollutes. Eating or not eating certain foods, washing or not washing your hands—that's neither here nor there."

What makes me mad is that they were the ones to took Jesus to be killed.  I know that it was all in the grand plan, but they still had a choice.....  I was reading the end of Matthew and it was interesting to note that even the High Priest had reduced himself at moment of Jesus' crucifixion.  

After they had finished nailing him to the cross and were waiting for him to die, they whiled away the time by throwing dice for his clothes. Above his head they had posted the criminal charge against him: this is jesus, the king of the jews. Along with him, they also crucified two criminals, one to his right, the other to his left. People passing along the road jeered, shaking their heads in mock lament: "You bragged that you could tear down the Temple and then rebuild it in three days—so show us your stuff! Save yourself! If you're really God's Son, come down from that cross!"

 ^41-44The high priests, along with the religion scholars and leaders, were right there mixing it up with the rest of them, having a great time poking fun at him: "He saved others—he can't save himself! King of Israel, is he?  


But I think the best part so far that I read was when Mary and Mary (just imagine if the other mary - jesus' mother was there, it would have been mary, mary and mary..haha.  sorry) were just leaving the tomb after seeing the angel totally roll the huge boulder that was the door to Jesus' tomb.  So they are running to Galilee to the place that Jesus told the disciples before he died that he would meet them and....


They ran to tell the disciples. Then Jesus met them, stopping them in their tracks. "Good morning!" he said. They fell to their knees, embraced his feet, and worshiped him. Jesus said, "You're holding on to me for dear life! Don't be frightened like that. Go tell my brothers that they are to go to Galilee, and that I'll meet them there."


To me, that Good Morning sounds really chipper and happy, almost like He has a bit of mischief in His eyes.  Almost like He was trying to scare them, while they are so focused on running back to the disciples!  


There was alot more that I got out of it, but I felt that I needed to share about the Pharisees.  I don't know why, but it REALLY bothers me when people are all so "I love Jesus..and he's the best thing that EVAR happened to me" and then they betray Him with their actions.  To me, don't call yourself anything if your going to act that way.  Not only to do you disgrace the saints who gave their lives for our freedom of religion - to actually READ a bible, but also for name of the One who died for us.  I hope that people can tell that there is something different about me, and desire to live their life according to "Kingdom Principles".  


To find out what i mean by Kingdom Principles...start with matthew

Irish dreams....sigh.

Have I mentioned that I have started a savings account to finally go to Ireland one day?  yep...$50.  Brian said I should save up at least $10,000 and my cousin Michelle (who lived there for 6 weeks) suggested that I stay for at LEAST three weeks.  Well, I am the queen of thrifty and I already have some fun FREE stuff to do.  In Dublin, I found out that they have free walking tours - I like walking.  And I found some accomodations in Dublin for under $100/night and they don't look too bad too.  I think one of them is a holiday inn.  I figure if I save up $50 a month I'll have enough money to go for my 40th birthday. 
Who would I go with?  Well, Brian said that he would love to take me, and my mom said that she would love to come too - after hearing me babble about everything that I've read (and after we watched P.S. I Love You)  The only thing that I'm worried about is that it is not going to live up to the fantasy that I've built in my head. 
I remember the first time we (brian and I) traveled back to Ontario for the first time after we were married.  I think we had been married 3 years, and I missed it so much.  I longed to be there more than anything, and that all my bible school friends would still be there.  Sadly, everyone had moved away, except I got to see my good friend kim - she lived in the apartment under me.  I was disappointed that I couldn't spend more time doing the things that I had spent countless time daydreaming about.  Anyways, my expectations were so unrealistic that it was destined for disaster.  I am going back to Ontario this june - all by myself.  I'm taking pictures for my niece's wedding- (I have a niece that is old enough to get married! - wierd!)  I don't think of her as a niece though.  I'm looking forward to having time to myself, and doing what I want.  I'm going to visit my brother and take lots of pictures of my nephews.  I'm sure that my diet is going to go completely out the window, because my brother knows how to cook ...AND all the best places to eat.  I'm looking forward to being with  my sister (in law).  She is so wonderful and one of my favorite people.

So back to Ireland.  I'm not planning too much...just little things.  I found a B&B that I want to stay at in Wicklow Co. and I for sure want to do some hiking.  Other than that, I think that I leave the rest to plan 5 years from now.  That way I don't manage to disappoint myself again.

Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor!

A friend of mine just posted this on facebook.  The Happy Face Spider!  It lives in the Hawaiian Rain Forest. To find out more just click on the page.