Monday, December 07, 2009

Day 3, 4 & 5....6 and 7

Well, It looks like I got too carried away with birthday week to remember to post the rest of my activities. Oh well, not too much to report. I went out for lunch with my friend Teresa on Wednesday. It was so nice to actually spend some time with her. We're both so busy with our lives, but I find that if I tell her that I miss her and that we need to get together, she's the one friend who will stop everything in her incredibly insane crazy life and take time for me. I do feel honored, because she has routines...hardcore, and to mess those up, you must be pretty special.

I've actually been working on my own routines. I started doing Flylady again. For all who don't know who Flylady is-who is probably most of you- an online life coach/ motivator. She helps women who are overwhelmed and help them to slowly build routines and help them feel good about their homes again. I don't know what it is, but my life has been so chaotic since I had Ally. Everything was so perfect and in order. I used to make homemade birthday cakes and cards, make and send out christmas cards - ON TIME the last week of November with a newsletter and a family photo. I'm lucky if I even send christmas cards now. I don't what it is, but life has been different for 7 years now. Poor kids all they know is chaos because they don't remember me when I was a mini Martha Stewart.

So far I'm on day 9 of my babysteps. I was really proud of myself for keeping my sink shiny for 8 days in a row - until..... I didn't realize it before, but I have this cycle where life is good and then something happens and I carry everything and it paralyzes me. I can't do anything. It renders me immobile. That's me this morning. It's taking me everything within me go get off this couch and get dressed to do my morning routine. There is so much going on lately with brian's work, the girls at school (which seems never ending) that I just want to hide. So I have this battle going on inside of me, my body says to curl up in a ball and sleep it off but my spirit says that if I stop everything that I been working on the last 8 days will go down the drain, and it will be 100 times harder to get started.

When things got this bad, I would find unhealthy ways to relieve the pressure with food, unhealthy relationships...thank God I've dealt with those. Foods not an issue anymore, and relationships well, I recognized the ones that are getting between Brian and I and cut them off. Brian has seen my cry lots over the last couple days and it sucks. He offered to take me out for lunch today :)

So...I guess I'm going to set my timer for 15 minutes and get ready for the day and start my routine, before the morning is over. Go see my hubby and get some laundry done. Today is my day off. Maybe I'll do some baking when I get my morning routine out of the way. I'm feeling better just thinking about it. Writing truly is therapy for the soul. sigh.